ADVICE FOR ROMANTICS

Further to what he calls my 'dating crisis', one of my readers has kindly forwarded "an advice column".
In fact there is no crisis. Because there is no dating.
If there were dating, there might be a crisis.

My life at present is frustratingly crisis-free.

Anyhow, he states that I could do worse than to imitate a male pisauridian, conveniently overlooking the disturbing dietary preferences of the female.


A WORTHWHILE EXAMPLE

QUOTE:
"Researcher Maria Jose Albo of Denmark's Aarhus University told Live Science in November that the spiders typically obtain sex by making valuable "gifts" to females (usually, high-nutrition insects wrapped in silk), but if lacking resources, a male cleverly packages a fake gift (usually a piece of flower) also in silk but confoundingly wound so as to distract her as she unwraps it -- and then mounts her before she discovers the hoax. Albo also found that the male is not above playing dead to coax the female into relaxing her guard as she approaches the "carcass" -- only to be jumped from behind for sex. "
END QUOTE.

[Source: http://news.yahoo.com/news-weird-100002251.html.]


His suggestion is that I can learn from this.

I hate to tell him, but I am not a spider, and none of the women I would ever be interested in desires "high-nutrition insects wrapped in silk".
It does sound charming, though. I mean the silk-wrapping.....
Humans are also interested in gift-wrap.


On the other hand, playing dead to coax the female into relaxing her guard and approaching, while sly, seems more than a little off kilter.

A ravenous carrion-eating female should probably not be trifled with.


Perspectives may change after the zombie-apocalypse.


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