Thursday, June 09, 2011

WHY ARE YOUR FINGERNAILS BLUE?

One of my Facebook friends is EVIL! She knows I visit the internet during lunch. She knows I'll look at her Facebook page. She put the following video up, secure in the knowledge that I would spew sandwich material over my key board.

BITCH!

For your information, today it was liverwurst. The comptroller (who sits diagonally opposite) is now convinced I have leprosy or syphilis of the sinus. Or something unheard of nasty.
That's what liverwurst coming out of your nose does.

Evil!


DEBBIE DOES E-HARMONY
In which a young lady with an obsession tries to find a soul-mate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc&feature=player_embedded
Slow-speaking recent grad from Villanova. She has a problem with words. Well, just one word. Do not mention that word. You know, that .... word.

For your information, trying to pick liverwurst out of your keyboard is impossible. There are no hard chunks - liverwurst is basically goo, really smooee goo - and I fear this thing will probably stink like dead animal within days. Remind me not to eat liverwurst at work again.

Cat. Maybe I should eat cat. Freshly killed cat. Whenever you eat cat, somewhere a MBA graduate dies.
It's nature's way of restoring the balance.

Cat pastrami. Cat ham. Cat salami. Cat wurst. Cat head cheese. Cat loaf. Cat franks. Cat nibblets. Cat snack pack. Cat-o-fu.

There's pinkish crud in my nostrils. Horrible boogers.

Bitch.


Hat-tip: Shemena


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On second thought, she's kinda cute when she does that fragile weepy fluttery thing.
It's hot. Totally. She wants to just hug cats!
Is that so bad?

If I knew where she lived, I could hang out nearby wearing a cat suit.

[I'm not really into her type, but how can anyone resist such vulnerability?]


Meow?

Oh wait, I know! A cat loin cloth! Meeewr! Rowr!


Made from real cat!


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2 comments:

cynically amphibious said...

Two things:
1.) There was a young lady in my bookstore a couple of nights ago who was this dumb for real, telling a friend that she is going to graduate school in the fall.
and
2.) MBA.

boltcutters said...

or maybe we could all learn to love from this woman.

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