THE PERFECT WOMAN
Today on the bus a very small person got up and offered me a seat.
A very small female person.
Yes, of course she was Chinese.
Do you really think a Caucasian, Hispanic, or African American kid would do something like that without prompting?
Maybe I should start using Grecian Formula on my beard.
Having a smiling two foot six inch tall female silently but firmly point out that one has reached a certain antiquity is rather..... um.
Such a bright little child, too. She attentively watched as I sat down.
Mmm, the old man sits! Good!
There was no evident disappointment on her face that I made no loud creaking noises.
But she may have been thinking it wholly remarkable that nothing snapped.
Lest you, dear reader, now conclude that I do indeed look superannuated, I hasten to make mention of the woman just last week, in a well lit place, who remarked in passing that I was 'gorgeous'.
Craggy old geezers are NOT gorgeous, lithe young men are.
As well as trim and distinguished-looking intellectual types.
At almost any age.
I fervently hope the four year old eventually realizes that despite the age difference, a neat frosty beard does NOT mean "elderly cripple on his last legs", but in fact means 'gorgeous'.
However, until she does (probably when she's in her twenties, and everybody who has ever played James Bond is deceased), she should feel free to offer older people a seat.
I'm sure one or two of them do creak.
Not me, though.
I'm still full of piss and vinegar.
It keeps me lubricated.
And prevents wrinkles.
When a tyke is that well-mannered, it reflects credit on her family.
This crusty old fart is mighty impressed.
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