Wednesday, June 15, 2011

BEAUTIFUL BRASSIERES FOR SALE

One of the irritating constants on the bus during my morning commute is the cell-phone issue.
Really, people should use their cell-phones only when it will NOT inconvenience anyone else.
For instance, in the middle of a busy intersection when they stopped to tie their shoe as the light changes. Assuming that the driver of the car who shplattens them has insurance, it is at most a minor issue.
Everyone will be happy.

Sometimes, however, overhearing someone one a cell-phone is quite interesting.

"Nothing, I'm on the bus with a whole bunch of ugly people..."

Oh really? You fit right in, dearie.
That immortal line was uttered (whined) several months ago.
And I still remember that woman's face.
It was radiant with dullness.


This morning I was mighty pleased to overhear another juicy tidbit.

"But mom, I need a bigger bra!"

That certainly got my attention. Couldn't see the teenager whose dulcet voice uttered those words, though I looked around frantically. Far too many business types in between me and her.
Crowded buses are a pain.

"No, that's ugly! Only old ladies wear that!"

Sweetheart, I'm picturing something quite improper now. Me and several other adults.
Honestly, when someone who sounds so young and gay says such provocative things, some of us twenty-five plussers are bound to keel over, or at least have severe chest pains.

She sounded like she was much closer to the front of the bus.
Having obeyed the driver and aggressively moved further in, I couldn't very well reverse and push forward.
Unless I pretended that my stop was coming up.
Taylor Street. Seven more blocks to go.
Darn. Should I walk?

Just past Mason Street the same charming girlish voice hollered "leopard spots!"
Oh boy.
Leopard spots.
Sounds like you're going to a party.

"Mom, you don't know ANYTHING about bras!"

Miss, this is your lucky day. Half of the hundred or so people on this municipal conveyance are adult men!
We are ALL experts on bras. Honest! Ask any one of us.
Think of us as your personal shopping assistants. Especially if you look half as delightful as you sound. We sincerely want you to make the right choices.

Alack, I am starting to perspire.


RECOMMENDATIONS

In fact, seeing as I don't know what you look like and will probably never meet you face to ummmmm, you molasses-voiced sweet thing, let me post a few shopping links just in case you ever visit my blog.
Better late than never.

HER ROOM LINGERIE
http://www.herroom.com/

HONEYDEW
http://www.shophoneydew.com/

LILY OF FRANCE
http://www.shoplilyoffrance.com/

LULALU
http://www.lulalu.com/aboutus.asp


Note: Lulalu specializes in lingerie for petite women.

Quote: " At Lula Lu you will find lingerie for petite women ranging from bra sizes 30AA to 38A and dress sizes 0 to 8. We carry comfortable and fashionable lingerie that not only fits the petite figure but is flattering as well. And, before selecting the styles, we have tested all of our products on petite women to ensure that the products have a great fit along with style and quality."

That's sheer poetry right there. Epic.


Of course, if you're going for the demented look, you really need Hello Kitty underwear for that bra party that you are planning.

HELLO KITTY UNDERWEAR
http://www.webundies.com/womens_underwear_hello_kitty.html


Personally, I wouldn't recommend it, though. While cute, Hello Kitty underwear does not inculcate an image of luscious and tempting intelligence and common sense. Rather, it suggests that you reached at random into your toychest and found something clean, and that you might be rather ditzy. Especially if strangers catch a glimpse.
Only young ladies with a quirky sense of humour should wear Hello Kitty Panties underneath their comfy corduroy or stretch twill boot cut slacks.

Trust me, I would not steer you wrong.



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stop making me laugh, you perv!

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