As usual I was reading the Dutch and German newspapers during my lunch. One of the newspapers I always read avidly is the Algemeen Dagblad - basically a piece of poorly written dreck that makes the SF Examiner look good - because of the reader-comments underneath articles.
Admittedly, there is no tradition of thoughtful commenting underneath newspaper articles anywhere - if you read the SF Chronicle or Ha'aretz on the internet, you must realize this. But it's always 'interesting' to see what a segment of the population with too much time on their hands and acid in their veins thinks. If, indeed, they can be said to think.
Dutchmen typing comments underneath Algemeen Dagblad articles prove their 'un-think' well and abundantly, and I must wonder where that thumb is.
Any article that has anything at all to do with America will usually attract comments like faeces attracts flies.
If it mentions American politicians, the angry Cheese will be all over it like fire ants on a cadaver.
Today, one of the articles mentioned our president.
The love affair between the Europeans and Obama is definitely over. Most of them think he's Bush light.
[No no, dear Euries, surely he's Bush dark!]
And they despise him.
The amount of anti-American venom is as high as it ever was. The Europeans still hate us. They hate us more than they ever hated the Nazis, more than they ever hated Stalin, and probably more than they ever hated the Inquisition.
[Well of course! All three of those were EUROPEAN. And therefore civilized!]
THE DUTCH LANGUAGE
I am beginning to wonder why I even bother to read anything in Dutch. Perhaps it would be best to loose that language entirely - it has been of no benefit whatsoever in the last three decades, conversations with other speakers of Dutch have been made unpalatable by their stubborn ignorance and bigotry, and, frankly speaking, Netherlandish is no longer a world-class literary language.
[Some would opine that it ceased to be a world class literary language back in the sixteen hundreds.]
Dutch has, for me, been a profoundly foul and displeasing experience. It would have been better if I had forgotten that I ever spoke the language. The only Dutch people whose company and conversation I enjoy speak fluent English anyway - albeit with that irritating accent.
Seriously, I do not need the frustration borne of a constant whining, kretshing, smarming, and bellyaching from the mouths and pens of that language's habitual users.
Perhaps the only reason I still speak the language, and still read it, is that when I write in Dutch I can be a far nastier person than you could possibly imagine in English.
It is the toxic tongue of daemons and fallen angels, indeed, Dutch is the most poisonous language in the world. If hell has a lingo, it is Dutch. If depravity and viciousness have voice, it is in Dutch. Sneering, sarcasm, cynicism, and sheer sadistic knife-in-wound twisting verbage, along with backstabbing, treachery, gall, and cowardice, are best expressed in Dutch.
The infinitely bitter taste of Dutch is, because of these characteristics, still addictively appealing.
That alone buys my loyalty.
Dutch is also a superior language for speaking of love. But as no young lady in whom I could ever possibly be interested speaks that tongue, this is a facet of the language that has no importance.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
6 comments:
For me though, Dutch seems much more useful than Hebrew because at school if I should swear in Hebrew, I still get in trouble, but if I swore in Dutch, I'm cool, and I can still tell them later.
I'm trying to stop reading comment sections of newspapers and blogs in Holland. Wat een vergif lees ik daar. It makes me depressed: So much hatred, venom, mindless shouting. I'd love to do research someday on the kind of people that spends time on 'commenting' on Internet. They must be resentful, bitter, frustrated, lonely people, lacking any joy in life. It's impossible to find reason in it: it's against everybody and everything: foreigners in general, Muslims, Americans, Jews, lefties, homos, the government, the EU. There's a disturbing evil streak to it. Like you, I have this uncanny feeling that somehow it's worse in Holland than other countries. Then the follow-up question is: why? What makes the Dutch so bitter and vile while at the surface life is good here?
The strange thing is, it's still addictive to read all that crap. Weird. When will the first Commentreaders Anonymous group be established?
What makes the Dutch so bitter and vile while at the surface life is good here?Perhaps a cuisine so similar to British in basic quality that the natural response is acid indigestion, and the suspicion that it COULD be better?
Dissatisfaction, surely.
---Grant Friedandboiled
Beste Vincent,
Tsja, inderdaad addictief, die kommentaren. I suspect that most of the commenters underneath those articles are not only part of the not really so vast anti-American crowd, but also reflect a lower educational level, and a less well-read population segment, than is actually representative of the Netherlands. It does sometimes seem as if they are the overwhelming majority. But only if we forget that most Dutch are not such schreeuwlelijkerds.
Yes, kvetching and bellyaching about anything and everything IS a Dutch characteristic - which is why it is indeed worse than other European countries; it is actually put to paper or voiced, whereas it is often kept within the bosom elsewhere. The Dutch are, when frustrated, more vocal than other Europeans, or in any case more likely to aim their barbs at specific targets, and add venom on top of that.
On the other hand, the Dutch are also more likely to blandly, blithly, and completely ignore what someone else just said. A kvetching person, in the Netherlands, is just another person. What comes from his mouth or his pen is merely evidence that he is present and awake. Bureaucrats ignore or poo-poo complaints, authority figures disregard and dismiss critiques and problematic issues, experts are always right, and everyone judges other people not on what they say, but on how entertaining the occurence of their saying it actually is.
Everyone has an opinion. Consequently, opinions are a dime a dozen, and cheaper than anywhere else.
All of this simply means that discourse in the Netherlands is more surreal at times than anywhere else. And, alas, at times more irritating than everywhere else. The evil aspect of some people is more extrovert and less apologetic than in many other places.
I believe that most Dutch simply close their eyes and ears to it all. Better to ignore it than let it bite.
Errm, Grant, perhaps you should explore Dutch cuisine further?
It is far less like English, and far more subtle, than you seem to imagine.
Think of stews - complex, savoury, or mildly spiced, with tastily prepared fresh vegetables.
Yes, there is an affection for fried foods. But the Dutch will not remark unduly on the bitterness of karela, whereas a WASP from the midwest will take one bite and gag.
The Dutch like bolder flavours than most WASPS. And know more about those flavours too.
Five hundred years of the spice trade, remember?
So you're saying that Dutchmen, like Punjabi log, are happiest when there is something to bitch about? Stir up shit, speak ill, vent, and spleenify?
---Grant Civilizedotherthan
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