GENTLE PERFUME

There are times when I regret the preceding decades. I really could've done everything more intelligently, could've gotten married had kids, could've won the Nobel prize, and could've smelled better. Then I remember that the smell is fine, everyone else is defective. There is always a whiff of pipe tobacco.
And that is exactly the odour there should be.
A nineteen forties fragrance.

Yeah, I wasn't even born then.

In the eighties, I reeked a bit too. Old-fashioned tobacco blends, strong tea, and fried Indonesian chili pastes. For some reason I remember my youth as being rain-sodden and cold, but this may be entirely a subconscious influence from where I grew up, that being the Netherlands. Which has been described, along with Northern Belgium, as having the climate voted most likely to lead to depression among expats. When you're there it's normal. Grey, drenched, bog-like, and overcast; with a resident population that visually resembles Vincent van Gogh's 'The Potato Eaters', a grim bunch.

They really do look like that.

A bit less scrawny than then, as the potatoes are now usually deep-fried and served with similarly prepared snacks (frikandel, kroket, bamischijf, berenklauw, loempia), which provide insulation against the climate as well as Germans, Frenchmen, and other drunken louts, but substantially the same.

The pipes are still part of my personal perfume, along with tea, dead leaves, and wild animals. But Americans have less fondness and scant talent for deep-fry cuisine. Our French Fries are often lousy, and the less said about fried chicken or fish 'n chips, the better. We do donuts well.

Fortunately one can buy chili pastes here, as well as many of the ingredients of typical Dutch Indonesian sambals and stews.


Current smells: Virginia pipe tobacco. Salted fermented black beans. Fried spices, plus coffee, tea, ginger, and cardamom.


Don't worry. Be happy.
Eat your potato.




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THE POTATO EATERS

Pursuant yesterday morning's mention of a "Dutch Culinary Celebration" in Bangkok (see here), it struck me that there are two items which would be perfect for introducing timorous Thais to the wonders of the Netherlandish table. Besides raw herring, smoked eel, split pea soup with smoked ham hock, zure zult, and buttered raisin bread, of course.
Especially because a plethora of deep-fried snacky foods and baked sweet goods could frighten the poor creatures, and Dutch-Indonesian inventions which were never made in Asia when the Dutch were still a colonial power might prove too familiar yet too strange.

These two items are familiar to every Dutchman, and easy to like.
Even many American tourists enjoy these dishes.
And they're a fickle bunch.


HUZAREN SALADE (HUSSAR SALAD)
A potato salad with fine chopped gherkins and meat.
Sometimes it's shocking pink.

One large apple.
Two or three hard-boiled eggs, peeled.
Two or three large gherkins.
One pound of potatoes.
Half a pound of cooked meat (pork, veal, or chicken).
Five TBS mayonnaise.
One TBS vinegar.
Salt and pepper.
Optional: cooked beets.

Peel and chunk the potatoes, cook for about ten minutes till soft. Drain and let cool. Peel, seed, and chop the apple, chop the gherkins. Dice the meat sort of small. Mix everything, then cut up the hard-boiled eggs and add. Adjust the taste with salt and pepper.
Dust with a little paprika.
Garnish with parsley.

Cover with plastic wrap and chill for an hour at least.

Traditionally some Martini onions are chopped up and included, often cooked beets are added for a disturbing colour.

Serve with toast.


HETE BLIKSEM (HOT LIGHTENING)
Potatoes mashed with cooked apples and stewed brisket (klapstuk).

Two pounds of potatoes.
One pound plus of tangy apples.
Three or four large onions.
One pound beef brisket.
Two cups of red wine for cooking.
One cup of good stock, ditto.
Salt and pepper.
A bay leaf or two.
Nutmeg.
Butter or olive oil.

Simmer the brisket in a pan with the wine, stock, bay leaf, and a pinch of nutmeg till good and done, which will be slightly over an hour and a half. Let it cool, then slice it into thick pieces. Reserve the pan juices for jus.
Peel and cook the potatoes.
Peel, seed, and chop the apples, chop the onion also, and cook these with optionally a dash of vinegar or a squeeze of lemon if the apples are too sweet. When the potatoes and apples are done, drain them and coarsely mash together, with a little butter or olive oil, salt and pepper. Sour cream or crème fraiche can be added, as well as a pinch of sugar to adjust the flavour.
And bacon drippings if you have that.

In some parts of the country they use dried apples, and almost any meat can be served with the mash, most especially stewed fatty pork, slices of cooked spek, or smoked farm sausage.
Bacon. Bacon is good.

Pears can be substituted for some of the apples.

In Brabant this accompanies blood sausage.



All Dutch dishes benefit from a dash of Louisiana hot sauce by the way, and having both sambal and good mustard on the table is splendid.
Avoid American mustard, it's nasty.




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DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS, AND MORE DRUGS

Recent cases before the court in Den Bosch involve the biggest ecstasy lab ever found in the Netherlands, along with a well-organized and professionally run party-drug brokerage, and efficient criminal organizations that distributed various illicit substances.

All in a few small southern Dutch towns.

Brabant-style enterprise at its finest.


As some of you know, several of my ancestors came from that part of the Netherlands. During my childhood we ended up back there, where my father worked for a well-known manufacturer of electronics.


I have always been proud of the canniness of those people.


Brabanders are born law-breakers, inclined to do something just because someone else tells them they shouldn't. Especially if it involves finding clever ways to outwit the authorities, or just sheer balls. The provincial flag is the blockade runners' banner, which, not coincidentally, was also the model for that chequered wimpel used in car races. During the middle-ages they were adventurers, merchants, soldiers, and often hired killers. As the scribe of Paris put it, Brabanders are all "brigands, rapists, and incendiarists; men of blood".

Erasmus said that the older they get, the crazier they become.

Cite: "Zoodat men niet zonder grond van de Brabanders zegt, dat terwijl andere lieden met de jaren in verstand toenemen, zij hoe ouder hoe gekker worden; en toch is er geen volk waarmede men genoegelijker kan omgaan, of dat minder de verdrietelijkheden des ouderdoms gevoelt."
Lof Der Zotheid ('in praise of folly'), 1511.

[Translation: "So that one can truthfully of Brabanders say that while years increase wisdom in others, they become ever more 'peculiar' as they mature; and yet there is no people with whom association is more enjoyable, and that pays the suffering of age less mind"]


Biggest. Drug. Lab. Ever!


Trailer trash before it became fashionable.



APPENDIX

The term Brabant, in most contexts in which I use it, means the area presently known as Noord Brabant, which is one of two southern and predominantly 'reprobate' provinces in the Netherlands. There's also a rather large area in Belgium, some of which is still called Brabant, but as the ancient heart of the region was Toxandria, which is the riverine frontier of Gallia Belgica, an area roughly corresponding to the Dutch territory, the term more perfectly fits the area just beneath the rivers.

The terms 'tessender' and 'tonger' are, more or less, former ethnonyms of the natives which survive in place names. Toxandrians were from the Kempen westward to the area of Antwerp, Tungrians more less occupied the lower reaches of the Maas (Meuse) river, which is Limburg. It is from these regions that the insolent Frankish invasions of Gaul (third to fifth centuries) sprung when Rome faltered.

The name Brabant derives from 'braek bande'. Braek: marshy or bog-like, brackish. Bande or bant: area, region, side. In other words, an inhospitable land of poor soil.




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THE IMAGINARY SNIT: CULTURAL APPROPRIATION

Last week, an ethnically upset person threw a hissy at San Francisco State University about a white dude with dreadlocks, accusing him of appropriating something from her culture, which he had no right to do. Because dreadlocks are NOT something native to Caucasians.

Well, neither are coffee and soap.

Personally, as a person of pallor, I likewise wish that he wouldn't do the dreadlock thing. A nice military-style crew cut looks perfect. As does a lovely Japonesque tattoo of Nazi-Stormtrooper deity Thor smiting Loki with a hammer shaped like a mead beaker. In lieu of that horrid set of Chinese characters spelling out "kill me first, then insult my corpse" (death before dishonour).


Follows an exchange about bagels (also cultural appropriation!), directly lifted from a Facebook conversation in which I participated.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Primarily me.


Dutch American: I always wear a feather war-bonnet while eating bagels. While gloating over my growing collection of severed heads and drumming.

Genuine Jew on this thread: At least you're eating the bagels and collecting the severed heads, and not the other way around.

Dutch American: I think I need to raid another longhouse.

Dutch American: Actually, I'm just a little too Goyish to enjoy bagels often.

Dutch American: Croissants, on the other hand ...... Oh la la la, messieurs!

Wind Instrument teacher of impeccable taste: But, but, but: the everything bagel! Are we not in the clear with this?????

Genuine Jew on this thread: At that point, I would rule that you're not even talking bagels anymore. We'll let you slide.

Wind Instrument teacher of impeccable taste: My students are fond of the Cinnamon sugar bagel - ugh! At least the everything bagel seems like it would be accepted by secular Jews smile emoticon

Wind Instrument teacher of impeccable taste: How do I know my students's eating habits you may ask? Bagels are how I bribe them into getting up early enough to go to (weird musical event) every spring.

Dutch American: Cinnamon sugar? That's a donut.

Wind Instrument teacher of impeccable taste: Tell me about it! Or a roll.

Genuine Jew on this thread: Look at you guys, culturally appropriating away like there's no tomorrow. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Dutch American: Shame is cultural appropriation and cultural oppression. I am beyond that, my chakras are realligned.

Dutch American: Save the trees, and hug a dolphin, Batman.

Genuine Jew on this thread: Your chakras are leaking.

Dutch American: Oh damn. I need to chant mantras now.

Genuine Jew on this thread: Meh. There's no money in it.

Dutch American: Seeing money in everything is SO Dutch! I, personally am offended that you would appropriate the magic of my ancestral culture!

Dutch American: Next thing I know you'll be eating herring!

Genuine Jew on this thread: Oh you have opened the very gates of hell now. As a Yid I challenge you to a game of marbles.

Dutch American: We Dutch lost our marbles. Thank you SO much for reminding me of that painful episode! I will retire to my mandated safe zone now, stick my fingers in my ear, and loudly repeat "la la la"!

Dutch American: Oh wait, I'm culturally appropriating college student culture. Sorry.


[Comment string ends]


I think we've learned something here, haven't we? Let us all sit in a circle holding hands, and chant 'om'. A nice soothing cup of Oolong would be appropriate at this point, and if someone could do a sand painting of a mandala, that would be splendid. Let us burn sage.



The genuine Jew also said: "The depths of your perversions never cease to astound me.".


Perversion. That's a White Person Thing.
It's something we do very well.



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THE SOCIAL ANIMAL

When I was four years old I attended a birthday party to which I had been happily looking forward.  After I got there, the birthday girl told me "you only came because you wanted cake!".
I spent the entire afternoon hiding under the table, behind the tablecloth.
It was a very nice party.
I did not have any cake.

I hadn't been invited by the person whose birthday it was, but by her parents who had insisted that my mother bring me.

When my mother came to take me home, I thanked the hostess for the wonderful time and for the lovely cake. 
She complimented my mom on what a well-behaved little man I was, so quiet!  Everyone else had been running around breaking things and screaming, she hadn't noticed me at all!
Probably because I had been invisible all afternoon.
Underneath the table with the cake.
Of which I didn't have any.



BRING ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE

Birthdays have always been fraught.  In Dutch grammar schools at that time it was the tradition that the person celebrating brought candy to pass out to everyone. Which often was NOT what they wanted to do, but the teachers made sure everybody got some.
I remember several of us being told afterwards "the piece you had was poisoned, you are going to die!"
Saying that is a charming practical joke to play on the Jews, Indonesians, Surinamers, and the single American kid - after the first time, it no longer frightens, primarily because the candy will be discretely discarded later, as if one knows that it would taste like sawdust.
Take it to be polite.  And to avoid alerting teachers.
Just don't eat the damned stuff.
It's cursed.

A novel spin on exclusion was the time when one of my classmates hissed "I'm not eating any of that filthy Yankee crap!" and refused to take the candy I was handing out.  Several others did likewise.
In fact the candy I brought to school for my birthday was Droste's Pastilles, a very nice, quite addictive, Dutch chocolate, of high quality and excellent reputation.  Which would be clearly recognizable to the little Netherlanders with whom I went to school, if only they had learned how to read; the label on the box was in their language, not mine.

I cannot recollect being at a single birthday party during those years, but many of my classmates must have wonderful memories of such events. 
Afterwards they would gush.


High school was a relief.  It was an academic environment (Atheneum and Gymnasium), so the others were not as casually vicious or close minded, and were more capable of understanding that being American was not necessarily a frightful personal failing.  Nothing deliberate, probably just horrid luck.
And by that time the Yanks had already started negotiating with the North Vietnamese, so the sense of outrage at what the evil running dogs of colonialism were up to was fading. 
In any case, my peers weren't deliberately cruel.

There was one birthday I attended during those years, but as I did not feel at ease (it having become apparent that I had been invited just so that I wouldn't feel left out), I spent a lot of time at the far end of the garden admiring the rose bushes, and made my excuses as soon as it was diplomatic to do so.

After another party several people wanted to know why I had not come.  Well, I didn't know about it!
I actually did know about it, ALL about it, because I had heard nearly everyone talking about it for at least a week beforehand, but I had not been included in those conversations.
My error was that I should have assumed that I was invited.
Instead of waiting to be asked.

That way lies madness. 


Three categories of personal versus group dynamic come into play.
Feeling welcome, grudgingly included, and being excluded.

Exclusion is painful, however a casual "just because" invite is not in any way better.  One should always politely decline such things, rather than risk being embarrassed by someone wondering why one is even present. 
Showing up uninvited is worst of all.
Some social events are obligatory, and almost sacramental - sharing food and drink in celebration with ones friends and companions, for instance.
But when one is merely there on sufferance it is better not to be there.
One's presence might add lustre, more likely disquiet.
Being absent is a benefit to everyone.
More satisfying, too.

I don't deal well with birthdays, and I don't do well with groups.  Even when it's my own birthday I wonder if I should even be on hand, and for years I tried not to be noticed for months in advance, anxious that I not seem in any way to be alerting people to an occurrence which really wasn't significant, and which people might prefer to ignore.
Wiser not to draw any attention, because after all I'm only here for the cake.

When I still lived in Berkeley several of my friends once went out to eat together on my birthday.  I heard later that they hadn't asked me to come along because "you know him, he doesn't like such things......".
Apparently they had a truly wonderful time.
The food was amazing, absolutely amazing!


KARMIC EQUIVALENT OF CAKE

I've been thinking about these matters a lot recently because I've had pizza with other people several times since August, which is far more than in the preceding half-year.  Pizza truly is something that has to be shared, a group meal of which there must be enough for everyone.
Sharing food is psychologically and ritually important.
I rather like pizza.  It speaks to me.
Casual, yet communal.
Sacramental.


I am accustomed to being on the outside looking in, but I was at two events recently where everyone made me feel welcome.  Not as a deliberate inclusionary act, not with any forced bonhomie, but quite naturally and without any pretense. 
They were genuinely happy to see me.
It's fun being around adults.
I'm quite chuffed.



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EUROPEAN VACATION

People thinking of taking their first trip to the old world could scarcely do better than to visit the Netherlands and Belgium. There are a number of cities which are well worth visiting, as well as historic places, and a fascinating society and culture.

Three towns suggest themselves: Amsterdam, Antwerp, and Eindhoven.

Amsterdam is the cultural capital of the North, and has many famous museums. It is a lovely city, and strolling around the central part admiring the canals and discovering interesting little stores can happily occupy several hours. There is tasty food, and quite a bit of nightlife too.

Antwerp is the cultural and business capital of the Flemish (Southern Dutch), and in addition to a splendid Gothic Cathedral and a beautiful late mediaeval grand square, has innumerable fine restaurants. Flemish cuisine is extraordinairily good.
Flanders comes vibrantly alive here, and the city is more of a must see and must experience than most settlements of equal age.
It also has museums and nightlife.

Eindhoven is the industrial center in the South-East of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, famous for Philips Electronics, a renowned technical university, research facilities, the Van Abbe Museum, and surprisingly good eateries in the city centre as well as the picturesque surrounding villages. Brabanders live well, and take pride in their cuisine.
The bar scene at night is quite lively.

I usually base myself in Amsterdam, then take day-trips to Antwerp for the food.

I love all three of these cities, but I always make sure to spend some time in Eindhoven and its environs, enjoying the gently rolling countryside and the many hospitable cafes and auberges.
Life, in North Brabant, is more relaxed than elsewhere.


TOPS IN EUROPE

For young people especially, these three cities offer an additional advantage.
Please compare these rankings:

Cocaine: Antwerp, Amsterdam, Valencia, Eindhoven.

XTC: Utrecht, Amsterdam, Eindhoven, Antwerp.

Amphetamines: Eindhoven, Antwerpen, Amsterdam, Utrecht.

THC: Amsterdam, Paris, Utrecht and Barcelona tie for third place, Eindhoven and Castellón tie for fourth.

[Source:
http://eindhoven.dichtbij.nl/regio/rioolwater-eindhoven-vol-sporen-illegale-drugs . ]

If you really must visit the rest of Europe, consider Valencia, Paris, Barcelona, and that other municipality no one has ever heard of. 
Plus Utrecht.
But really, there isn't much point.


AFTERTHOUGHT

No wonder the Dutch are batshit crazy.
We're whacked to the gills.
Coke, speed, xtc.
Good lord.



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GOING DUTCH: VISITING THE NETHERLANDS (AND BELGIUM)

Sometimes when people hear that I spent most of my early years in the Netherlands they get a dreamy look, and murmur about coffeeshops and the Amsterdam Red Light District.

I wonder what they're thinking.
During the sixteen years I lived there I didn't utilize either of those.

Normal teenagers have normal lives over there, often with far less exposure to drugs and sex than the average American urbanite. Though with considerably more coffee and tobacco.

If all that interests you is pot and floozies, you might as well stay in the U.S.
Go to 'Oaksterdam' across the Bay - the medicinal grade ganja will blow your mind - and take a trip to Nevada.
Seriously.
There is no need whatsoever to waste your money going overseas.

There are many excellent reasons to visit the Netherlands, but the flesh pots should not be on your list.


AMSTERDAM

Several stellar museums, and some smaller ones that are also abundantly worthwhile.
For art lovers, there are the Rijksmuseum, the Stedelijk Museum, the Van Gogh Museum, and the Rembrandt House. The first three are easy walking distances from each other, the last is roughly equidistant from the Rijksmuseum and the central station.
The Tropen Museum ('tropical museum') has idiosyncratic and tendentious exhibits, but a superior bookstore, research collections, and hosts interesting events.
For all major musea in Amsterdam you can find out more on-line.

Amsterdam is a great walking city with colourful tree-lined streets speckled with restaurants, cafés, and bookstores. Plus monuments in various parts, beautiful sights, and pleasant things which do not require heavy intellectual concentration.
So rather than burying yourself all day at the Stedelijk, spend time exploring.
After maybe four or five hours one day among the carefully labeled wreckage of the past, rejoin the present and have a bite to eat.
You can visit the museums again a few days later. Or a few years later.
Don't obsessively try to see everything now.

Dutch food can be plain, but some of the eats in Amsterdam are worth the trip.
Dikker & Thijs. De Vijff Vlieghen. Sluizer. L'Opera. La Rive. Ciel Blue.
Et mult altres.
Best Indonesian food outside of Singapore, excellent seafood, plus nice lamb, meat products, cheeses, baked goods, and a number interesting ethnic cuisines. Much of which is available within mere minutes of your hotel.

Regarding hotels, do your research before you go, as even mediocre "international" hotels will cost twice what some very nice lodgments away from the narrow tourist ambit charge, and you'll still be well within the heart of the city.
Closer to good eating, too.

If you can, avoid all shops, restaurants, and lodgings that cater to Americans primarily. Many of them are overpriced, staffed by expats, and do not in any way represent anything worthwhile.
Eschew 'koffie shops'. That's were potheads go.


UTRECHT

The city centre, beyond the very modern area that was built after the war, has lovely streets and deep quiet canals, plus a cathedral that will delight you.
Good food can be found here, as well as some very strange stuff that should not be served to anyone - in particular, I remember "Hawaiian porkchops"...... tough, greasy, and covered with pineapple and Gouda cheese. Ick. And poo.
There were two of them.
Double ick poo.

Go to Utrecht on a day trip from Amsterdam. It's only twenty minutes away by train, and because it is a central location for the rest of the country, it gets all the national and international conventions, and consequently hotels are overbooked.
With the exception of even mediocre international hotels - see note above.
Again: day trip.


DEN HAAG

The Hague is also known as 'the widow of the Indies', due to the number of returnees and exiles who settled there. Naturally some of the very best Indonesian restaurants can be found in the city and its environs.
Like all of the major towns it is easy to reach by train.
One hour from Amsterdam. Take a day trip - diplomats and other international criminals may have booked everything except the mediocre international hotels solid for weeks in advance.
Mmmm, day trip.

AND ALSO...

In addition to the culinaria mentioned above, what the Dutch classify as junk food is interesting and often extremely tasty. One word: unidentified fried object.
Okay, three words, but one idea. In uncountable iterations.
If it can't be deep fried, it might not be worth eating.

For epicurean stuff, however, spend a few days in Belgium.  Avoid Ghent, Bruges, and Brussels, except for day-trips. Instead find a hotel in Antwerp or Liege, and ask the manager for food recommendations.
Yes, the beer is fabulous - but the food is dynamite.

And like in Holland, there are numerous museums all over the place.


The perfect Dutch and Belgian vacation consists of finding nice small hotels with comfortable rooms, then exploring the central areas of the cities, eating well in places that the locals favour, discovering weird and wonderful things, and just being there.

Do not visit in Summer, as it will be hot and humid, filled with mosquitoes and foreigners, and many of the locals will have taken their own very long vacation.
Spring is great for tulips, but the very best time is probably September through October. The weather is nice, the evenings are still long, café terraces offer a good place to sit and read or observe the local scene, and as autumn progresses the countryside changes from green to warm bronze, Sienna, ochre, gold, and umber, with elements of red.
Winter is ghastly.  Do not go in Winter.

Buy reading material while you're there. They also have books there in English, as well as many other languages, including their own. 
There's a weekly bookmarket on the Spui Plein in Amsterdam every Friday.
On average, Dutch people read far more than Americans.
What's a trip away from it all without books?

 *   *   *   *   *   *

Sorry about the horrible and predictable wordplay that captions this piece, btw.
I've always hated that phrase.  Please don't use it while over there.



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SEE THIS NOW: CANTONESE GIRLS IN SAN FRANCISCO, WOMBATS IN THONGS, PALE FAT FISH, AND OTHER THINGS

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may be wondering what kind of person writes this garbage.
Who is ‘At The Back of the Hill’ (ATBOTH), and what goes on in his mind?
Is he really both sanity-challenged AND the club bore?

Yes.

Affirmative to all of the above.


AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL DETAILS

The short version is that I was born in Hawthorne General Hospital via a Caesarian in 1959, spent slightly over two years in El Secundo (Southern California), and then we all moved to the Netherlands. My father, who was a WWII Royal Canadian Air Force bomber pilot and an aeronautical engineer; my mother, a former radioman in the Waves (women serving in the US Navy during WWII) and a language scholar; my brother, a bright young man who was four years old at the time; and myself, a loud two-and-a-half year old whose most memorable accomplishment up till then had been pissing in my father's eye when he changed my diapers.

[I heard about the eye-pissing incident several times, every year. So much that I have taken it and made it my own. Boastfully so. Yes. It was me. I did it. With great force and determination. Oh gallant bladder! Nu.]

After a few years in Bussum and Naarden, we moved to Valkenswaard, a lively village with cigar factories and a surfeit of drinking establishments near the Belgian border. There were other expats there, mostly Indo-Dutch exiles.
Other than a vibrant night life it was a culturally rather empty place. Despite my general distaste for much that is Dutch, because of Netherlandish attitudes towards Americans, I nevertheless think back fondly to the town. Some of the people there were marvelously insightful, human, and twisted.

When I was eighteen I returned to the United States, nominally to get an education. Dropped out of college in the eighties, worked first at a tobacconist, later as a draughtsman. For a while I was employed as a cashier and bookkeeper at an Indian restaurant. Have been doing credit and collections since the early nineties.

In the eighties and nineties I travelled a bit. South-East Asia mostly.
I've also visited Canada a couple of times and I've been back to the Netherlands.

I currently live within walking distance of Grace Cathedral, San Francisco Chinatown, and North Beach. Also Polk Street and the Tenderloin.
I often eat alone, though NOT by choice.
I am not as happy as I was a few years ago, but I am not bitter.
If anything at all, I am forward-looking.

Pipesmoker. Early fifties. Not overweight.
Somewhat multi-lingual, but let's not exaggerate it.
Animals I most identify with: Badgers, Toads, Raccoons, Crows, and Penguins. In exactly that order.

Favourite authors: Vladimir Nabokov. Somerset Maugham. Joyce Cary. Evelyn Waugh.
As well as J. P. Dunleavy, John Irving, Anthony Trollope, Jane Austen, and Wyndham Lewis. Plus Kipling and Simenon.


Are there any questions? Please note that there will NOT be a test.

Now, you may have seen various subjects on this blog that made you wonder: wombats, nudity, fish, tobacco, and food.


WOMBATS

Strictly a metaphor. Or an intellectual conceit of sorts.
Back in 2008, after a slew of comments by various people that prominently mentioned wombats, I wrote a post entitled now more wombat than ever, in which I presented what little I knew of the bad tempered marsupial. It was not enough. Later I wrote baggy boxers, where I cited one of my readers, who postulated that "The petite Asian schoolgirl blushed prettily when she realized the wombat had made off with her panties... what would she do, with an elderly rabbi about to arrive for Torah study (which, under no circumstances, would involve Jeebus)."
The mental image thus created is enchanting. Surely you too can imagine a rambunctious wombat gleefully stealing silken garments?
Throw in an aged Torah-scholar, a sweetly blushing young miss, and a lovely crisp autumn evening, and you have something very good indeed.

"The petite Asian schoolgirl blushed prettily when she realized the wombat had made off with her panties... what would she do, with an elderly rabbi about to arrive for Torah study (which, under no circumstances, would involve Jeebus)."

Jeebus, step away from the panties!

Pervert!

Wombats have cropped up here occasionally since then.
Most recently in 'a silken camisole'.
I still have not eaten one.


NUDITY

The bathing post, naked middle-aged white man, turned out to be a magnet. Since then, any number of people looking for naked middle-aged white men, naked middle-aged women, naked weightlifters, naked fat gangsters, and similar subjects, have happily pounced upon my blog, only to drift away disconsolately after realizing that there were no photos.
No, I will not put up a picture of anything in any way relating to these subjects. If you want to see a naked middle-aged white man, you shall have to be in my apartment when I take a bath. We can talk while I soak.

[I feel safe making this offer, as the vast majority of searches for 'Naked Middle-Aged White Men' originate in Australia, with the Gulf States a distant second, and Germany making up the remainder. Wombats and their kin are experiencing a drought of naked middle-aged white males - or it may be that the concept appeals to them on a multitude of esthetic levels - but no one else has quite the same burning itch.]

Other than that, nudity is sometimes mentioned, occasionally dwelt upon, but an unimportant theme overall.
I like nudity, and would like it to happen fairly frequently.
But there really isn't much to say about it.
Feel free to prove me wrong.


FISH

Actually, not fish so much as degenerates finding my blog by means of eccentric search criteria.
One of which shows them a seafood post.

Years ago I wrote in-depth about herring. Anyone who grew up in the Netherlands probably loves this fish.

The favoured version in the Netherlands is groene haring ('green herring'), which is nearly raw by American standards.

Curing is by removal of the gills, throat, and internal organs, with the exception of the alvlees klier ('pancreas'), whose enzymes will help tenderize the fish. Following that it is lightly salted and packed in a cold place to ripen.
The more salt is used, the longer it can be ripened.
The method used by the Dutch and Flemish for herring was discovered by Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet in 1380.

It is often served with chopped onions, or itself coarse chopped and incorporated in a salad (“gehakte haring”, “haring sla”), although fish-mongers also sell it breaded for pan-frying. Bread and herring is delicious.
If at a buffet, good rye bread, pickles, onions, and ice-cold Genever (Dutch-style gin) might be served alongside.

[ADDENDUM: The Japanese use herring and similar fish in sushi, most notably mackerel. Like herring, mackerel is fine and fatty, but while the meat of herring is rather buttery, that of mackerel is oily. There is, consequently, a profound difference in mouth-feel, especially when raw. Because of this, and differences in texture and density, the fish can spoil quickly; it must be eaten soon after capture.
For sushi, a very mild cure for the mackerel (to prolong edibility) is common. Taste-wise, it strongly echoes Dutch-style herring, which is also lightly cured. There is even a similarity of appearance, though the flesh looks softer and less glistensome, and has a yellower hue. It is close enough, and hence very nice.]


The 'tempting' post in question, fat green virgins, proved to be electric.
Just imagine what kind of customer was attracted by that name.
Since then other titles have ensnared their own fan clubs.

You can see the entire slew of fetishes here: PERVERT TAUNTING.

'Pervert taunting' is the label for a series of articles in which I entertain myself at the expense of unfortunate internet hogs.
I've enjoyed it. Maybe they have too.
If they have a sense of humour.


TOBACCO, AND FOOD

Both of these subjects have their own rubrics. Tobacco is best represented by TOBACCO INDEX, which contains a complete list of all tobacco-related posts, briefly described, with links to each article.

And food crops up all over the place.
Useful food labels are: FOOD, 真好食 (chan ho sik: good to eat), Chinese Food, My food, 菜譜 (choi pou: recipes), 雲吞 (wantan: won ton), 腸粉 (cheung fan: ricesheet noodle), and Indo food.

Many of the recipes are also posted on COOKING WITH A LIZARD, but not yet all. My intent is to eventually have all recipes posted there for useful reference, with links to the original article.


CANADA

A recurring theme, which I cannot explain. Don't live there, don't want to live there. They have ghastly beer, and I'm not a beer drinker anyway.
They also have tea.
We have that too.
Why Canada?


AFTER WORD

As far as what other subjects interest me, if they aren't anywhere on the blog itself, they're represented by the blogroll to the right. These are links to the sites of people who write well, and whose blogs I enjoy reading. Many of them are exceptionally knowledgeable.
Exceptions being of course the newspapers.

I'm always curious about my readers. Other than the regulars who have by their feedback given me a good idea what kind of people they are and what interests them (and thank you guys for your company and frequent wit and insight), I don't really know much about you.
Please leave comments, or contact me via my letterbox (below) to introduce yourselves.

Also feel free to ask me about other things you've seen here, or, if you wish to bring them to the attention of someone else, for a link to a post.



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FRISIAN PIPE TOBACCO FOR GENTLEMEN - ECHTE FRIESCHE HEEREN BAAI

Back in the early nineteenth century, two brothers went into business together selling smoking products.
Hendrik and Bouwe Taconis moved their factory to Leeuwarden in 1860 after several years, and happily started using images of a famous monument in the Frisian capital as marketing illustrations, continuing so even after they quarreled and split the company in two circa 1913.
Hence the name of Hendrik Taconis' tobacco factory: Tabaksfabriek De Oldehove.

Frisian style pipe tobacco was, in that day and age, considered healthy, and even up to the beginnings of the twentieth century was marketed to all ages including juveniles, who not only worked in the tobacco factories, but frequently featured on advertising posters for the many products then current - stogies, snuff, rolling tobacco, matured pipe tobaccos, etcetera.
Vibrant children happily smoking are so much more appealing than grayed and toothless antiques or naked savages!
Just the ticket for selling a "healthy" product, aimed at clean people with civilized tastes!

What set the so-called 'Echte Friesche Heerenbaai' ("real Frisian gentlemen's 'bay' tobacco") apart from other smoking products was the quality and purity of the ingredients: strictly leaf exported via the Chesapeake, mostly air cured (Maryland) along with some flue-cured tobacco.
No flavourings. No added sugars. No adulterants. Solid stuff.
And consequently, it naturally had to be good for you.

Baai Tabak ("Bay Tobacco") is still made from such tobaccos, although the sourcing is now world-wide. The tobacco is cut into thin ribbons, set aside for a few days after blending to homogenize the taste, simply packaged, and shipped.
The flavour is mild, slightly nutty, and reminiscent of similar ribbon-cut products, though veering away from the Virginia side.


BEYOND THE DUTCH TOBACCO TRADE

The Taconis brothers were probably the most well-known manufacturers of "bay" tobaccos at the beginning of the twentieth century. By the end of the twentieth century, their enterprises had been swallowed up into Douwe Egberts and, I believe, Royal Theodorus Niemeijer , both of whom still produced their own bay tobaccos (Coopvaert and Voortrekker respectively).

[Niemeijer is also the manufacturer of Clan Pipe Tobacco, a famous blend whose delightful aroma is the signature smell of Holland for many people.]

Between Van Nelle, Douwe Egberts, and Niemeijer, most of the small independent Dutch factories had been absorbed by the seventies.
Such names Louis Dobbleman of Rotterdam, F. Lieftinck of Groningen, Roelsma, Simon van Brakel en zoon, and others, had long ceased operations when Gallaghers sold Niemeijer (which had absorbed Van Rossem and Grunno) to Rothmans in 1990.

Sarah Lee, meanwhile, had acquired Douwe Egberts in 1978 and Van Nelle in 1989.

In 1998, the tobacco brands of both companies (now called Douwe Egberts Van Nelle - DEVN) were sold to Imperial Tobacco. The main pipe-tobacco brand represented in this acquisition was Amphora, most other products being rolling tobacco (both dark shag and blonde English style) as well as factory made cigarettes.

To the best of my knowledge, neither 'Echte Friesche Heeren Baai' nor most other Dutch pipe tobaccos are available in America anymore.
Imperial Tobacco does not export to the States.

You may be able to find Sail, Troost, and Vier Heeren Baai, which are all Niemeijer products manufactured by Orlik (part of 'Scandinavian Tobacco Group') since British-American Tobacco sold the brands in 2007.
For a while they too were unavailable, due to the hissy fit that B.A.T. threw five years ago, but along with other famous brands they are slowly coming back.


Personally, I've been enjoying various blends by Samuel Gawith, Kohlhase & Kopp, J. F. Germain & Son, G. L. Pease, and Cornell & Diehl for several years now, as well as the occasional McClelland product.
I do not miss most Dutch tobaccos - certainly not the two blends from Niemeijer on which I started (possibly 'Scotch Mixture', with heather honey and whisky, and 'Irish Mixture', with similar tarting-up - traumatic memories, though no detailed recollection) - but once in a blue moon I like to recapture part of the past by smoking McClelland's Virginia Woods, which charmingly echoes the old-fashioned 'Bay' ribbons.

TOBACCO INDEX


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PUNCAK

It's odd that the restaurant should be named after a mountain resort where Dutch civil servants went to escape the heat and eat their own food. Especially when it's one of the few places in that country where 'poffertjes' are known.

Poffertjes are perhaps the quintessential Dutch fair food. Tiny puff-batter pancakes cooked in a special pan with indentations, buttery hot and dusted with powdered sugar. Quite unsuited to the tropics. Other Dutch delicacies commonly available at hotels and restaurants there are pannekoeken (crepes) and kroketten. As well as Dutch cakes and confections.
The frikadel, which did not become well-known till the sixties, is of course unknown.
To say nothing of the bamibal or the nasischijf.

The restaurant in Amsterdam, however, serves none of those things.
But the food is very good indeed.


RESTAURANT POENTJAK PAS
Nassau Kade 366
Amsterdam
Telephone: 020-6180906

Unlike the steep slopes near the peaks of Gunung Gede and Pangrango in western Java, in the Bogor Regency, Puncak Pass restaurant in Amsterdam is in one of the flattest areas you will know. Holland does not have mountains, and the great city on the Amstel river is, essentially, a glorious mud flat. The restaurant is barely two blocks away from the Overtoom, relatively near the Van Gogh Museum and the Vondel Park.
The food, of course, is Indonesian.

In the days when the Dutch were still in Java, they sometimes times felt homesick for cool weather and Dutch food. Those who returned to Holland after the war still had the air of the Indies in their nostrils, and were homesick instead for distant emerald islands and the familiar tastes of their younger years.
The Puncak ('peak') pass area was a place additionally that many veterans were familiar with, because of heightened nationalist activity in Western Java during the Indonesian independence struggle. Western Java (Sunda) had been the heartland of the Dutch colonial world, where the empire maintained longer than anywhere else. Consequently it was also the area that many would miss the most when they departed - some of them had family histories in Sunda dating back several generations.

What you will eat at the Poentjak Pas Restaurant is some of the best Indonesian food in the Netherlands.
The proprietress, if she is still alive - it has been over ten years since I was last there - is a gracious elderly lady, whose Indonesian speech still has the antique flavour of the pre-war period.
I remember her as a warm hostess, both intensely interested in her guests as well as diplomatically discrete. The food, every single time, was stellar.


Sundanese food is not as sweet as dishes in Central Java, and has a lighter touch with strong flavours, relying instead on freshness and fragrance. With a vast array of vegetable dishes, or vegetable and meat or fish combinations, plus salads of raw and blanched ingredients, and tangy relishes, it is reputed to be good for the skin, accounting for the lovely complexions of the women in Western Java.


My uncle Jan may dream of the old days on the Puncak Pass in Indonesia.
I remember evenings at the Poentjak Pas in Amsterdam.
My memories are no less golden.
A very warm place.


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GEERT WILDERS VERDICT JUNE 23rd 2011

Geert Wilders found not-guilty of all charges.
This verdict was inevitable and predictable. As anyone who actually knew anything at all about the Dutch and the legal system of the Netherlands could have foreseen.

Wait, we did foresee such an outcome!

[The principles of Dutch law were put to the test, and proved themselves. And mark this, he's still an irritating blister and a horrendous bigot. That is what free speech is about. What he says is odious. But loathsome speech is still protected. Those who wailed otherwise were either dumb as two bricks, OR under the baleful influence of Pamela buggery Geller.]


We got castigated by all the English-speaking monolingual ignoramuses for saying so.

The Netherlands got all kinds of bad language thrown at it..... and her people..... and her culture..... and her society..... and her history, government structure, laws, customs, perceived habits or intestinal fortitude.....

The castigation, nay, hateful hysterical paranoid balderdash, was voiced by many people (including Pamela buggery Geller) who didn't know what they were talking about, and were the more venomous and foaming because of it.


On behalf of my fellow Dutch-speakers, we do NOT need your apologies.

Kindly be quiet.

Thank you.


------ATBOTH

PS. Zoals ik al eens eerder vermelde kan het mij in feite gene klap schelen wat de eentalige Engels-spreker over de heer Wilders denkt, dan wel te denken heeft over de onzinnigheden deswelks door Engelstalige rechtse ballen verspreid worden. Indien u dit niet lezen kunt ligt het waarschijnlijk aan u (en het is wel degelijk een faling), maar u kunt het in ieder geval aan een echte Nederlands-spreker te lees geven voor uitleg.
Voor de rest, bek dicht, stommeling. Ik ben het gezeik van idioten beu.


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FEMALE ISSUES

What I actually wanted for lunch was grilled lamb with tzatziki, black olives, tomato, and lemon.
That's not what I had.
Krivaar, which was on Pine Street between Belden Alley and Kearney, closed several months ago. The financial district is bereft.

Lamb got mentioned in many contexts today. Darn that power of suggestion!

While I was having non-lamb that I got somewhere else, I noticed that Vera Pui Chi Ng is, right now, as I write, passionately craving jook to eat.
She wonders if someone can come bring her some.

I feel very deeply for her. We can't always get what we want.

I would bring it, except she's in Holland, I am in San Francisco.

[Jook = 粥. Rice porridge, with varieties such as: 鮑魚滑雞粥 (bao yu kwat kai juk) abalone and chicken jook, 火鴨粥 (fo ngaap juk) jook with roast duck, 生滾蝦球粥 (sang gwan ha kau juk) shrimp curls in jook, 生滾肉片粥 (sang gwan yiuk pien juk) sliced pork jook, 香菇牛崧粥 (heung gu ngau song juk) fragrant mushrooms and pork floss jook, etcetera.
Note: 生滾 (sang gwan), meaning ' fresh boiled', indicating that the shrimp or pork is poached in the heat of the porridge when it is placed in the bowl.
皮蛋: Often jook (粥) will have a preserved egg (pei dan 皮蛋) cut into it, especially if it is made with very lean pork (sau yiuk 瘦肉). Or, more common at home, dried oysters (ho si 蠔豉). The first is called 皮蛋瘦肉粥 (pei dan sau yiuk juk), the latter 蠔豉瘦肉粥 (ho si sau yiuk juk). This is absolutely comfort food. 真好食!]



OH, THE HUMANITY!

On an entirely unrelated note, I am the happy recipient of a love letter.
From someone I have never met.
Nor ever will. No intention of.
Especially as I do not know what to call her.

What is 'spam' in Russian?
Is it a surname?

KIRSTIN

She wrote:

I am someone's perfect girl.
I hoard books.
I read news all the time.
I subscribe to several magazines and newspapers, not because I have time to read all of them, but because I like to think I do.
I'm a self-described coffee and cupcake addict.
I'm not an alcoholic, but I do love good beer, good wine and a good time.
I go to plays and musicals because I love them.
I dance because it's fun.
I sing because that's just what I do.
I kind of hate modern art (something my friends like to poke at when they bring me to various museums).

I overanalyze Lost. I sing along to Glee. I wish I worked at the Buy More.
I'm a nerd, in the "Star Wars is awesome, Star Trek is too, and I think I'd like Battlestar Galactica if I ever got around to watching it" way.
I Love Harry Potter. No, seriously. Love. Capital "L."
I'm probably the biggest sap you'll ever meet.
I find kids and babies adorable. I don't want my own any time soon, but I do want them.
I like pretty things. Shoes. Photographs. Pieces of furniture.
I don't like cats because I'm allergic, but I can't wait for the day that I can get a puppy.

I'm living the dream when it comes to my career, but even I know that there's something more I need to strive for. I just have to figure out what that is.
I love baseball and college football, but fair warning, I'm didn't grow up on the East Coast, so I probably don't like your team(s).
I'm not hot. Pretty, sure. Cute, yes. Hot, not so much. And I'm OK with that.


Wow. But for the puppy thing it sounds absolutely charming. I'm serious!

Except........

Her e-mail address is somewhere in France, the "dating is easy" profile link in her missive is hosted in Russia.

So just colour me doubtful.

Now, if she was a petite Cantonese American miss living on Larkin Street or Hyde Street, with a marked fondness for pipes, pipe tobacco, and pipe-smoking men, I might just drop everything and rush to her side.
I would bring extra pipes, in case she wanted to experiment, and extra tobacco.
Everything from blonde Virginia flake and dark VaPers to medium English mixtures and Balkan blends.
Plus extra pipe cleaners.
O yes.

As well as jook.



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THE DUTCH ARE OUR FRIENDS!

Often, when I have nothing better to do, I read the Telegraaf newspaper. The Telegraaf is the most popular journal in the Netherlands, and can be said to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Which is pretty damned low and common. Makes even our San Francisco papers look rather high-fallutin' and intellectual.
But then, we have fewer inbred peasants than the old world.


BELGIAN TRAVEL ADVISORY

VS waarschuwen voor België AMSTERDAM - Het officiële reisadvies van de Verenigde Staten geeft een waarschuwing voor toeristen die naar België afreizen.

An article about official cautions to American tourists travelling to Belgium. Like much that is produced by the US government monkey corps, there are a few minor problems.

Such as some nonsense about tourists being robbed with shaving cream on public transportation in Brussels, and the staff at Walloon medical facilities being unable to speak a civilized tongue.


The readers of the Telegraaf have loyally taken up the defense of their neighbors in the comments underneath the article.


A condensed sampling of Dutch opinions about Americans:

"Ze worden daar met de dag dommer..... de grootste criminelen, lopen er in de VS rond..... Amerikanen, die weten niks van wat er in de wereld werkelijk gebeurd. En die media daar om te huilen. We zijn niet door Amerika bevrijd in WW2 maar door de geallieerden. Een borst op de TV en heel amerika is geschokt terwijl de sexindustrie de grootste ter wereld is. Laat ze lekker in hun eigen land blijven. Amerikanen nooit een dommer en kinderlijk volk gezien. We zitten hier niet op die amerikaanse cultuurbarbaren te wachten. Sinds wanneer spreken ze in Amerika iets anders dan Amerikaans? Domme arrogante Amerikanen. Hoe noem je iemand die 3 talen spreekt? Drietalig. Iemand die 2 talen spreekt? Tweetalig. Iemand die 1 taal spreekt? Amerikaan! Hoe durft zo'n land wat te zeggen een land waar zoveel criminele activiteiten plaatsvinden. Een land die overal oorlog voert. Een land die handelt in wapens. Een land waar kinderen op school mekaar neerschieten. Ik zou zeker niet om culturele redenen naar de VS reizen vanwege onbestaand daar. "

In short, Americans are dumb and getting stupider by the day, are all more or less ignorant criminals whose newspapers are garbage (according to a reader of the Telegraaf, 'nuff said). Furthermore, Americans didn't liberate Europe, that was the Allies.
One titty on the television and all of the United States is horrified! Horrified! The Yanks have the biggest sex industry in the world!
Americans, haha, nothing more than barbarians! They don't even speak decent English over there! Americans are depraved, monolingual, and congenitally criminal, and should above all stay in their own horrid culturally deprived country.


Those are nice Dutch people writing those things. You know, Netherlanders  .....   our devoted allies, who keep reminding us of our long friendship and common cause. Dutch people. The people whose politicians smilingly agree with us, in English, at international conferences. The nation which copies so much of our popular culture, and where everybody speaks a version of English because they've been watching almost nothing but American television shows since the sixties.

Remember, the Dutch are our friends. They've told us so, many times.
In our language.


BELGIUM

I have to agree with the Dutch - there is NOTHING wrong with Belgium.
It is in fact far safer everywhere in Flanders and Wallonia than in any large municipality in the Kingdom of The Netherlands, the people are very much cleaner than they are in Holland, and considerably more friendly and polite.

If you have the chance, by all means visit Belgium. The food is delicious - Belgians are deservedly famous for their cooking, unlike the Dutch, who haven't anything even close to 'cuisine'. And Belgian beer is wonderful - neither Amstel nor Heineken are in the same league. Heck, compared to many fine Belgian brews such as Mort Subite, Duvel Moortgat, Leffe, De Koninck, Rodenbach, Callewaerts, and others, both Heineken and Amstel are naught more than pale ditchwater unfit for human consumption.
The only Dutch beer that is even drinkable is Dommelsch Oud Bruin, which is mighty hard to find north of rivers.

Additionally, Belgium has many fine museums and art galleries with helpful staff - unlike the Netherlands, where the staff are uniformly wooden and uncommunicative - and Belgians truly understand that a welcoming attitude and genuine warmth are graces which bring credit to their country - again, unlike the Dutch, who seem to believe that a Golden Age four centuries ago is enough reason for the modern Dutchman to haughtily look down his long unwashed nose at the rest of the world. That characteristic Dutch snootiness is called "deftigheid", by the way. Though the Belgians also understand the word "deftig", they do not use that term in the same way, and they are at times more galled at the rude standoffishness of 'Ollanders than even us Yanks. Many Belgians despair of the Dutch ever becoming truly civilized, and the proximity of such cold fish is all the more irritating because of the similarities of language.
It must be said that Flemish is more mellifluous than that Northern hairball up-barfing gabble of their cousins across the border.

De Vlaamsche 'g', weette gy wel. 't Klinkt gewoon schooner.

Antwerpen has more fine restaurants than Rotterdam, Amsterdam, and Utrecht combined, the moules-frites in Brussels are superb, Ghent and Brugge are architectural treasure troves.
Such French-speaking cities as Liège, Dinant, Charleroi, and Namur all have their own abundant charms, not least of which is the rolling countryside of the South. Plus, of course, food as good as anywhere in Belgium.

Hospitality, in whatever language (Flemish: gastvrijheid; Walloon: l’hospitalité) is a Belgian concept.

Truly, if you visit Europe, you should spend at least half of your time in Belgium. You might even want to avoid the rest of the continent altogether, Belgium has more than enough to be the best trip of your life.




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DUTCH HATRED TOWARDS EVERYONE

A while ago one of my regular readers wondered at my bitterness toward the Dutch. Surely the Dutch were as deserving of regard as other people?

In the abstract, he is of course absolutely correct.
Yet I refuse to extend them that courtesy.
I lived in that pestilential place for sixteen years as a foreigner.
From age two till age eighteen.

The Dutch are not nice people. Not when the foreigner is from a place they thoroughly despise, or belongs to a creed or ethnic group which they loathe.

An American citizen in Europe during the Vietnam war was probably the most despicable thing the Dutch had ever seen.
Much like a Moroccan Dutch person born in Rotterdam.
Or a Turk doing the job that the average Kaaskop is far too snooty and fastidious to even consider.
Also Jewish people – the number of Jews who are bailing out to their homeland from an increasingly racist and bigoted Europe keeps growing, and at this point many of the Jews left in the Netherlands are of the Uncle Tom type.
They too will eventually learn that living among the Dutch is just not worth it.
Apparently, not even for the Dutch. There are nearly six million of them in the United States, and probably over twenty million Americans who have some Dutch in their veins.


As an example of how thoroughly loathsome, despicable, vile, and pustulent some Dutch people can be, I offer an article in De Telegraaf:
Student in de bres voor ritueel slachten

Shan't bother to translate it, as I'm merely placing it here to remind other readers of our language of the sheer gut-wrenching nastiness and stupidity that festers back in the Netherlandish bog.
These are the people to whom we are related, we have the same foul blood running through our veins.

[Earlier mention of Dutch attitudes toward the food-customs of other people can be found HERE and HERE. For other considerations about the Dutch, see the rubriek ROTTEKAAS. Your feedback is appreciated.]


But as Dutch-Americans, we are better than that.
We have often preserved what was best about our heritage, and discarded the toxic sludge.
And, crucially, we are not as inbred as that lot over there, nor as culturally defective.


Student in de bres voor ritueel slachten
[di 14 jun 2011, 19:44 174 reacties.]


DEN HAAG - Ritueel slachten moet blijven worden toegestaan. Dat is althans waar een student uit Rotterdam voor pleit. De jongen heeft dinsdagmiddag duizenden handtekeningen van gelijkgestemden aangeboden in de Tweede Kamer.


Samen met duizenden anderen is de Rotterdammer, Youssef el Hachioui, tegen het verbod op onverdoofd ritueel slachten.

Hij hoopt dat de Kamer het voorstel van de Partij voor de Dieren verwerpt, zo meldt RTV Rijnmond. Volgens de student staat de godsdientvrijheid van moslims op het spel en is de islamitische gemeenschap verbijsterd.



REACTIES

[NOTE: this section has been severely reduced - reading ignorant Dutch hate-spew, even for me, becomes boring after a while. The natives, of course, enjoy it for hours. That's why they're Dutch.]



Als wij pretenderen een "beschaafd" land te zijn (wat dat
ook moge zijn) dan had ritueel slachten natuurlijk ALLANG niet meer mogen voorkomen. Wie daar problemen mee heeft gaat toch lekker terug naar z'n eigen islamitische joodse of weet ik veel land?! Snijdt het mes meteen aan 2 kanten? Wat aan 2? Nog wel aan meer kanten zelfs.
de Opruimer, Lelystad 21:38 14.06.11

Ik vraag me af of deze zogenaamde gelijkgestemden ook zo consequent zijn zich bij de tandarts zonder verdoving te laten behandelen en een operatie ondergaan zonder verdoving. Dat voorhuidje werd er tenslotte geheel volgens traditie en ritueel ook zonder verdoving af gehaald dus dan consequent blijven je hele leven en alles wat met verdoven te maken heeft uitsluiten.
Marcellus, Utrecht 21:37 14.06.11

Aanpassen aan de Nederlandse normen en waarden, of anders wegwezen... simpel...
Joschke, Scheveningen 21:37 14.06.11

Ja, halal vlees wordt ook door niet moslims gegevten maar niet vrijwillig maar omdat het ons wordt opgedrongen in bedrijfsrestaurants zoals van diverse overheden. Iedereen heeft zich aan de wet te houden ook gelovigen.
smit, lelystad 21:36 14.06.11

Nee nee en nog eens nee. Blijf met je handen af van beesten die zich niet kunnen verweren. Zoek je eigen land maar weer op waar dat legaal is. HIER MAG HET NIET!!!! Afblijven van dieren! Als het toch moet vanwege de normale kringloop, dan met de regels van ons land, op de LEGALE manier. Ik hoop dat die student eens zonder verdoving geopereert wordt! Ik hoop ook dat hij sjeest en nooit meer een studieboek mag inkijken! Wij zitten hier niet op te wachten!
Kate, Amsterdam 21:36 14.06.11

Ritueel slachten is zo primitief en niet meer van deze tijd, maarja wat is er eigenlijk niet primitief van dat geloof ?
Rubio, Nijmegen 21:33 14.06.11

Sinds de PVV in de politiek zit wordt alles maar dan ook alles wat verbonden is met de Islam tegen gewerkt. waarrom nu pas komen met dit dit is al eeuwen bekend en nu pas moet het tegen worden gegaan. Mensen we eten bijna allemaal vlees. ritueels geslacht of niet zij gaan allemaal DOOD. als je er wat tegen hebt wordt dan vegetarisch. ik ben volbleod nederlandse en vindt het ook niet leuk maar ik vindt het hypocryt van mensen om te zeggen dat het niet mag terwijl ze zelf wel vlees eten. Slaat werkelijk nergens op.
Miriam, Leiden 21:33 14.06.11

Een terechte actie. Ritueel slachten is beslist niet slechter dan het slachten in de bio industrie. Ik moet ook niet denken aan de transporten dwars door Europa van dieren, maar dat mag in de ogen van de tegenstemmers kennelijk wel.
M.Nieuwenhuys, Den Dolder 21:32 14.06.11

Doe dat dan maar lekker in eigen land. Wat een nonsens.
ongelovige, gezondverstand 21:29 14.06.11

Het staat hem vrij dit land te verlaten als hij zich beperkt voelt in het beleven van zijn geloof. Daarnaast niemand zegt dat je vlees moet eten. Het is van de gekke dat een religie dergelijke eisen denkt te kunnen stellen. Het is de hoogste tijd dat er een strikte scheiding komt tussen kerk en staat.
Grumpy the old man, Oosterhout 21:29 14.06.11

Laat deze student eerst maar eens afstuderen, dan een paar jaar werken, daarna zien we verder. Dieren gaan boven menselijke kolder.
dr. Paul, Den Haag 21:27 14.06.11

Het zal je maar gebeuren als schaap of koe dat met een scherp mes je keel wordt doorgesneden terwijl je bij het volle bewustzijn bent. En dat allemaal onder de noemer geloof. Walgelijk.
Johan, Veenendaal 21:26 14.06.11

Ritueel slachten past niet in onze samenleving. Wie het toch wil is vrij te vertrekken naar een land waar het wel past in de samenleving.
burger, den haag 21:26 14.06.11

De Rotterdammer Youssef el Hachioui???? Dit doet mijn hart pijn; niet alleen het onderwerp van discussie: ik ben ten zeerste tegen ritueel slachten, vind dit beestachtig en mens- en dier ontwaardig; mijn mening is dat deze manier van slachten verboden moet worden in onze westerse wereld; helaas kunnen we weinig doen wat betreft de Islamitische opvattingen, maar laat dit a.j.b in ons land verboden blijven.
doortje, mi 21:26 14.06.11

Dus de godsdienstvrijheid van de moslims staat op het spel als ritueel slachten wordt verboden, en de Joodse geloof dan, tellen ze niet mee.
Abdoelrachman, Schiedam 21:24 14.06.11

Goh heb je de afgrijselijke beelden niet gezien van het slachthusi waar ritueel werd geslacht?? WALGELIJK.In de Koran staat dat het op deze manier moet.Maar WAAR in de Koran staat dat dit met zo'n onkundige wreedheid moet gebeurenAls dit als "normaal" word beschouwd, vraag ik me af hoe de mens zichzelf nog in de ogen kan kijken.Voor mij al jáááááren geen vlees meer. AFGRIJSELIJK.
Naan, Rotterdam 21:24 14.06.11

Ik zou zeggen koffers pakken en wegwezen!! Wij zijn Nederlanders en hebben onze eigen regels gelukkig!
H., Waalre 21:24 14.06.11

Tja,we slaan af en toe een beetje door.Zolang mensen nog dagelijks worden afgeslacht zonder dat de daders daarvoor passende straffen krijgen .Kinderen aan de lopende band misbruikt en mishandeld worden.Vrouwen slachtoffer zijn van huiselijk geweld enz enz zonder dat er daadkrachtig tegen wordt op getreden kan ik me hierom niet zo druk maken eerlijk gezegd.Los eerst maar eens de grote problemen in dit land op en maak je dan druk om honderden jaren traditie waar vorig jaar nog geen haan naar kraaide !
Zaantje, Zaandam 21:22 14.06.11

Als ze zo graag ritueel willen slachten moeten ze maar een enkeltje bestellen richting land van herkomst,de overheid betaalt graag een deel mee.
Dorien Rollenvanger, Hoensbroek 21:21 14.06.11

ze zouden toevallig zelf maar eens een dier zijn, wat door mensen uitgekozen word om ritueel te slachten.. dan zouden ze ook wel anders piepen arme dieren, dieren horen nooit dierenleed te hebben, en by the way, ze wonen toch in nederland, aanpassen dan maar !
studentje, den haag 21:20 14.06.11

Er zijn nog genoeg landen waar ze kunnen wonen waar dit barbaars slachten normaal is.
cv, ehv 21:20 14.06.11

Ik ben verbijsterd dat er nog steeds ritueel wordt geslacht. Ook dat rituelen uit een sprookjes boek worden verheerlijkt
Piet, Provincie 21:19 14.06.11

Ga waar je vandaan komt,ik wordt langzaam moe van deze gasten.verpest voor je zelf jongen en laat anderen met rust
ali, Rotterdam 21:18 14.06.11

Ik ben tegen rituel slachten, dit barbaarse gedoe moet maar eens afgelopen zijn en als je het daar niet mee eens bent staat het je vrij om te vertrekken maar dat doen ze mooi niet.
Ton, Rotterdam 21:17 14.06.11

Dat die jongen duizenden handtekeningen zal verzamelen kan allemaal wel waar zijn, maar vraag eens iedereen van het Nederlandse volk en dan zul je zien dat de overgrote meerderheid tegen ritueel slachten is. Dat heet democratie en vindt hopelijk in de tweede kamer plaats. Als hij het er niet mee eens is dan conformeert hij zich dus niet aan de wetten van de meerderheid.
cees, Venlo 21:17 14.06.11

Tja, we willen wel graag Nederlander zijn en als dat dan gelukt is, weer niet dan gaan we weer roepen dat we anders zijn en van andere afkomst en dat geeft dan gelijk weer rechten.....zolang het geld maar wel uit Nederland komt, want dan zijn we weer Nederlander........
edwin, ede 21:15 14.06.11

Ritueel slachten verbieden en importverbod van halal vlees. Ga anders in een land wonen waar het wel mag, maar niet in ons beschaafde Nederland.
Willem, Venlo 21:14 14.06.11

het is een misdrijf zoals tegenwoordig wordt geslacht. het zou strafbaar moeten worden, en de slachters die op deze manier slachten berechten voor ernstige dieren mishandeling. men wil ook overal in de schappen halal vlees waar vindt ik "Anti halalvlees"????? ik hoop dat de PVV meer zeggenschap krijgt.
Thgomas, Rotterdam 21:13 14.06.11

Afrikanen en Indianen speren werpen op levende dieren in Nederland? Ik dacht het niet! Dit is Nederland,géén Azië géén Afrika.
Robert, Heerlen 21:11 14.06.11

het leven van een dier is belangrijker dan jullie godsdienstvrijheid!
ton, limburg 21:10 14.06.11

Ritueel slachten laten ze maar doen in een islamitisch land,en niet hier,wij hebben ons al genoeg aangepast,en nu is het tot hier en niet verder punt.
ger, kerkrade 21:10 14.06.11

Zelfs moslims kunnen niet boven de wet staan, het wordt tijd dat ze dat eens begrijpen en anders de consequenties aanvaarden en verdwijnen. Dat is mij net zo lief.
de vliegende hollander, D 21:07 14.06.11

We gaan het helaas voor hem toch aannemen. Maar er zijn alternatieven genoeg voor deze ondernemende en reislustige jongeman.
Haloef, Zwijndrecht 21:07 14.06.11

als ze hier willen werken en wonen dan zijn ze verplicht om de NEDERLANDSE REGELS na te leven!Nederland doet niet aan voorkeurs behandeling!
ajc, a.dam 21:07 14.06.11

Er moet een definitief verbod komen op het ritueel slachten van willoze dieren. Het is niet meer dan pure dierenmishandeling en dierkwellerij. Overtredingen dienen derhalve bijzonder zwaar bestraft te worden. Het is buitengewoon barbaars hoe dergelijke weerloze dieren worden gemarteld. Normen en waarden dienen in dit land te worden nageleefd en gerespecteerd.
Siegfried, Enschede 21:03 14.06.11

Inderdaad blijf van onze Nederlandse Normen & waarden af . Nederland is tegen Ritueel slachten !
Tamara, Nederland 21:02 14.06.11

1e is onverdoofd slachten al heel lang verboden in Nederland. Slachthuizen die ritueel slachten zijn al jaren in overtreding. Helaas heeft de politiek tot op heden niet gehandhaafd en het gedoogd uit angst voor grote groepen nieuwe nederlanders. 2e De wet op de godsdienst vrijheid wordt al tientallen jaren misbruikt. Deze is vroeger ingesteld om vervolging van anders gelovigen uit te sluiten. De bedoeling van deze wet was iedereen het recht geven zijn geloof te beleiden. In de prive sfeer of een gebedshuis.
Opa, Zeeland 21:01 14.06.11

Ik kan mij niet voorstellen dat de schepper al het leven heeft bedoeld, dat wij dus dieren de allerergste pijn en mishandeling mogen toebrengen uit zijn naam. Diegene die perse halal wil eten en het hier niet kan kopen, moet of vegetariër worden of maken dat hij wegkomt. Wij waren een beschaafd westers land, maar door de import van een onbeschaafde religie, zijn we afgegleden naar een land met barbaren, die ons hun wil opleggen en straks de macht in de slachthuizen overnemen. NOOIT DUS. RIP voor arme dieren.
ikke, hiero 21:00 14.06.11

De Islam staat weer boven alles blijkbaar. Mss moet deze meneer (terug) verhuizen naar een moslimland? Ik wist trouwens ook niet dat ritueel slachten toegstaan was in Nederland. Waarom moeten dieren ondraaglijk leed hebben, omdat sommigen geloven in een sprookjesboek?
Mum, Limburg 20:59 14.06.11

Youssef el Hachioui is geen Rotterdamse naam dus ook geen oorsprongkelijke inwoner van Nederland. Op- en aanmerkingen van Youssef el Hachioui zijn terecht maar niet hier in Nederland. Uiteindelijk is onverdoord slachten nergens humaan.
Ed, Oostburg 20:58 14.06.11

Youssef moet gewoon lekker in een islamitisch land gaan wonen! Kan hij ritueel slachten zoveel hij wil.
henk, Amsterdam 20:58 14.06.11

Laten we dan een petitie houden om te laten zien dat we ook beschaafd kunnen
Niks van aantrekken wat deze z.g student wil. Ritueel slachten is een barbaars overblijfsel uit een donker verleden. Als deze z.g. studenten zo nodig aan dit soort middeleeuwse rituelen vast wil houden,moeten ze lekker emigreren naar Afghanistan of Pakistan. Schijnt heel gezellig te zijn aan de universiteit van Kandhahar. En qua onderwijs niveau kan het nooit veel slechter zijn als aan de universiteiten hier. dat gaat namelijk ook helemaal nergens meer over!!
Pieter, Zaltbommel 20:56 14.06.11

Ritueel slachten direct afschaffen!En deze student is gezien zijn naam een ietse pitsie partijdig?14 eeuwen oude slachtpraktijken zijn niet van deze tijd!Pas je aan of botvier je prehistorische geloof lekker uit in je land van herkomst!
Frits, Haarlem 20:55 14.06.11

Godsdienstvrijheid is een groot goed, maar ook religies moeten met hun tijd meegaan en niet doen of ze boven algemeen aanvaarde maatschappelijke normen staan. De joodse en islamitische slachtwetten zijn eeuwen geleden in geschreven in een woestijn klimaat, waar hygiene en voedselveiligheid om een zeer specifieke behandeling van vlees en slachtdieren vroeg. Van dierenwelzijn had toen ook nog niemand gehoord. In onze huidige samenleving zijn deze bepalingen onnodig en niet meer van deze tijd.
Wouter, Boskoop 20:55 14.06.11

walgelijk, ritueel slachten moet ten aller tijden verboden worden. We leven in een moderne maatschappij waar dit niet meer in past. Als het al ooit ergens in gepast heeft. Bah..
Monique, Apeldoorn 20:54 14.06.11

Iedereen die ritueel wil slachten moet maar terugkeren naar het land van afkomst.Ik denk dat het daar iedereen mee eens is.Behalve dan die mensen,want die weten dat het hier in nederland goed vertoeven is.
S.chaap, Weide 20:53 14.06.11

Als je ritueel wil slachten moet je dat ergens doen waar het normaal is.
Peter, Uden 20:53 14.06.11

In Nederland dit dierenleed gewoon verbieden. Dan kunnen alle gelovigen zich óf aanpassen, óf geen vlees meer eten,óf terug gaan naar het land van herkomst waar het wel mag.
esox, bergschenhoek 20:53 14.06.11

als je naar een land emigreerd , hoor je de gebruiken van dat land te kennen en te respecteren , en ga nu geen andere gebruiken instellen en dan roepen we waorden gediscrimineerd als het niet mag , in het land van herkomst mag het wel , nou dan wat let jullie , in nederland wordt niet ritueel geslacht , s.v.p. geen dierenmishandeling
ron, vlaardingen 20:50 14.06.11

als ze voor het geloof ritueel willen slachten,moeten ze maar naar het land van herkomst terug gaan!! hier gelden onze normen en waarden en heeft helemaal niets met geloof te maken.gewoon met aanpassen.
paul, nederlander 20:47 14.06.11

Duizenden gelijkgestemden... Die student vergeet even dat er vermoedelijk miljoenen mensen in dit land zijn die tegen het ritueel slachten zijn. Als het de beste man niet aanstaat, dan staat het hem vrij zijn nederlaag te accepteren of te vertrekken.
Jan, Groningen 20:41 14.06.11

Over verbijsterd zijn gesproken.Ik was verbijsterd toen ik vernam dat onverdoofd slachten in Nederland is toegestaan voor bepaalde religieuze groepen.Deze barbaarse methode was in de oudheid misschien modern,maar we zijn nu duizenden jaren verder en zijn er betere methoden ontwikkeld.Ik hoop dat de politiek nu eens lef toont en voor het verbod stemt.Godsdienstvrijheid is geen excuus voor dierenmishandeling!
Eric , Spanje 20:37 14.06.11

In een Christelijk westers land past geen ritueel slachten! Als Yousef dat als moslim wel wil, dan gaat hij maar terug naar een Islamitisch land!
Peter, DenHaag 20:37 14.06.11

stukje bij beetje gaan andere geloven de wet naar hun hand zetten. Nederlanders bepalen welke wetgeving er is, bevalt die je niet, ga je naar een land toe die wel aan je wensen tegemoet komt.
Hans, Schiedam 20:32 14.06.11

...................


And so sickeningly forth, and so sickeningly on.

There were far too many comments to bother pasting them all.

Most of them re-hash the same tired hate-filled rhetoric in any case.

Unimaginative lot, those Kaaskoppen.

The gist seems to be that the Dutch are civilized, unlike everybody else, and all those damned foreigners should go home. The Dutch refuse to tolerate anything which calls their own self-regard into question, and fervently dislike anything and everything (except bluejeans and American cigarettes) which has a non-Dutch origin.

"GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM"

There are about eight hundred thousand Muslims in the Netherlands - many were born there.
There are about thirty thousand Jews - there would've been a lot more, but the Dutch sold most of them to the Germans two generations ago.
There are also a number of Indonesians and Surinamers, many of whom are far more literate and educated than the average Dutchman.

There are six million Dutch-Americans. And the Dutch have also emigrated to many other parts of the world.

I was often told that I should just go back where I came from.
Ironic, given that Deursen, where the Dutch side of my family came from back in the fifteen hundreds, is not that far from Valkenswaard, where we lived while my father was employed by Philips Electronics in Eindhoven.
Same province, in fact - North Brabant.

In 1978 I finally did go back where I came from.
I have been back ever since.
Any commonality I have with the Dutch since then is purely accidental.


Ze kunnen oprotten, die Nederlanders.
Vaak, wanneer ik tegenwoordig een Nederlandsch accent hoor, moet ik de kots-neiging represseren.



ADDENDUM JUNE 19, 2011

There are over two hundred 'reacties' underneath today's article concerning kosher and halal slaughter in the Telegraaf:
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/10053894/__Ledenraad_PvdA_tegen__.html?p=8,1.

Unsurprisingly, most of the comments boil down to "go back where you came from, you barbarian swine". There are, additionally, a number of comments that are purely anti-Semitic. Bigotry in Dutch discourse has become very common ('want dat moet toch kunnen!'), and many 'Ollanders are distressed that not everyone thinks like them. Precisely such divergence of opinion is their greatest objection to the entire rest of the world, the one factor that convinces them more than anything else that they themselves are the lone bastion of civilization.

The article mentions that a majority of members of the Labour Party ('Partij van de Arbeid' - PvdA) are against banning 'ritual slaughter'. Naturally this is interpreted as a cynical appeal to potential voters among the foreign element, such as Jews and Muslims.
Because "real" Netherlanders are NEVER either Jewish or Muslim.
Never!

Real Netherlanders are animals.



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