Thursday, May 07, 2009

I AM BY NO MEANS A PERVERT!

But Grant Patel probably is. This in fierce rebuttal of an assertion made by miss Snooky Wong, who wrote: "Most of my regular readers are perverts. There are four who comment frequently: Grant Patel, the Amphibian, Spiros, and Atboth. [cut] And I enjoy their comments, so I guess that means I like sharing myself with perverts."


Again, I am not a pervert. I stress this.
I just have a healthy interest in young ladies BLOGGERS who live in the same town as myself. All perfectly normal.


The remark was made in regards to her sex-life. Which appears to be either "not sure" or "other". As is perfectly appropriate for a person of her tender years.


She describes her probable lack of hanky panky here:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/05/no-answers-about-my-sex-life-here-just.html


As you will note, the e-mail which prompted her speculation was innocent enough.
I wrote: "Here is what is possibly the most interesting survey ever! At least, from mister Patel's deviant point of view. Actually, ONLY from his devpov.http://blogs.jta.org/philanthropy/article/2009/05/05/1004935/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-you
You will probably want to NOT respond to a single one of these questions. Mister Patel should under no circumstances answer any at all, though he would almost certainly wish to wax at length.
"

Quite innocent, no? Speaking for everyone except mister Patel, who most splendidly rose to the bait (and revealed himself a degenerate in nearly all particulars), I can say that other than a mildly avuncular curiosity, we (myself, Spiros, and the Amphibian) have no interest whatsoever in Snooky's love-life. Or the complete and utter absence of same - which she confirms in a subsequent post:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/05/my-exciting-sex-life-part-deux.html


RANDOM QUOTE:
"Some of the questions are easy to answer, though if this was a test, even a multiple choice one, I would probably fail.
See, that's why Chinese American kids don't do sex surveys, it's performance anxiety! We're afraid we won't get into Berkeley or Stanford if we give the wrong answers!
"


On second thought, strike 'mildly avuncular curiosity' and make that 'avid fascination. Especially after she mentions that she is a "blond sex-type thing". You have our attention now.

=================================

In other news, we have been informed that Stas Feldman is the glue that holds the universe together. Something about the second law of thermodynamics, stuff going blooey, and the third kommisar from the back. We entertain doubts about all of this, and seek proof. Musk oxen are involved!



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12 comments:

Unknown said...

Woody Allen is supposed to have said:

"Sex? I have sex all the time.
Oh,... you mean with another person."

Bob

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I ever have connubulatus, if and when, whith others. I cannot stroo myself, this is a physical impossibility of monumantel proportions. If it were otherwise, I would be even more unique than I already am. I am a lawyer. Of course I do not stroo myself alone.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Oh, you meant actual sex?

Sorry, I thinking was some other.


---Grant Allthumbs

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And I most manifestly not a pervert, being in all ways a fine young priest.


----Grant Altarbhai

GRANT!PATEL! said...

With naught but pure thoughts, filled with vestments and fine robes.

And lacy hems.


---Grant Flakeapew

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And no thinking whatseover of finw young sproingies, of any gendrous characteristic. Being, as I said, of a pure detail.


---Grant Bendingbadly

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Spiros, however, is a pervert. As alll Greek men are. Do not ask what he did with the fine lithe Turk. Lest he overwhelm you with startrekkish detail.


---Grant Ferenghibobs

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Which now please ellucidate in all particulars, Greekwallah.
And thank you. Yoghurt.


---Green Stamboulisalat

Spiros said...

Who's Greek?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I AM BY NO MEANS A PERVERT!That is true. You are a deviant.


---Grant Perverververtelelel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And your littel friend is Greek. Which proves my point exactly.


---Grant Kemalbadassataturk

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And we ALL know about Greeks, don't we? Why do you think the Catholic church doesn't trust little altar boys around those people?

They might learn to wrestle with the big boys, that's why.


---Grant Apaterremainsapater

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