WHITE CHICKS JIGGING TO BAD MUSIC

That, more or less, sums up the movie 'The Beach Girls and the Monster'. Yes, this qualifies as one of the most pointless movies of all times. Putrid pile of dreck barely begins to describe it.


I enjoyed it immensely and heartily recommend it.


The special effects are special in the same way as brain-damage is special - and you might feel that you have been damaged after watching this movie. The acting is appalling, the writing is miserable, and the production values completely non-existent.
It is gorgeous. If other bad movies are sedate virgins putting on trollop makeup for the first time, this movie is a proud harlot flashing huge garish boobs of badness. So grab the popcorn and make an evening of it.


THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER
1965, directed by Jon Hall, starring Jon Hall (!), Arnold Lessing, and Sue Casey.

Warning: includes bikinis, bongo drums, and really stupid dialogue.


The basic premise is that a giant fish-monster is killing surfers. Especially slow-moving surfers. Who are on the beach, not in the water - they're never in the water, there is no actual surfing in this movie. But there are plenty of scantily-clad white chicks jigging to bad music, so it's not a total loss, though it may very well make you embarrassed about white people dancing.

Of course, you could instead cringe over the music. That too would be an appropriate reaction. I assume that you are already comfortable with bad acting and horrid scripts?

Spoiler: The monster is an angry fish doctor dressed in a cheesy costume who hates beach bums, teenagers, and his wife. He does them in by first trying to choke them, then clumsily slashing their face with his clawed hand. This surprises them so much that they die of shock.
We know that it cannot be because of blood loss - the producers forgot to include fake-blood in the budget.

Ooh, there are those white chicks jigging again! Same tune, too!