THE WET

The old Dutchman needs to use the bathroom. Very desperately. But the old Dutchman will be patient. Because the younger Chinese American apartment mate is in there, splashing about, possibly with one or two of her stuffed animals giving her instructions on where to swab for maximum cleanliness, I shall not speculate. Her ablutions are a mystery.
The watery sounds make the wait sheer torture.

The old Dutchman patiently makes himself a cup of coffee. While clenching. When at last she exits, rather than rushing in in unseemly haste he puts down his cup and with measured pace marches toward relief. One does not run in a hallway lined with book boxes.
If there were a fire one still would not run.

One strives to be dignified about all things.

Having lived in San Francisco for a great many years, I know what 'undignified' looks like.
It looks silly. Years ago I resided at a residential hotel entirely occupied by men, many of them at that time middle aged, where there were hallway sinks, water closets, and showers on every floor. We automatically learned to pace ourselves during rush hours. Except for the "water sprite", who, if a shower was unavailable, washed himself at the hallway sink, splash splash scrubbity swabbity sponge, splash splash!

He was ex-military. So he knew that cleanliness was important.

Since then I have prefered not to live with men. They're nice and all, and several of my friends are men, but if there are too many of them in a building it leads to weirdness and puddles. Women are, on the whole, much cleaner, although often more fastidious and neurotic about bathroom-related matters. Which is why there are TWO bottles of skin unguent in there. She uses one kind on her face, I use the other on my dry calves.

Fortunately, being of Chinese ancestry, she does not need a razor.
Otherwis it would have to be clearly marked.
To avoid confusing them.

White women, as is well known, sometimes need a whole body shave. Even, so I've heard, the soles of their feet.


Anyhow, I've micturated, so all is well with the world.



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