THE ELEPHANT

The Academy Awards are tonight. To the best of my knowledge, my cousin's brilliant oldest doesn't have anything up for an Oscar this year, so I have no dog in the race. No intention of watching the ceremony. Precisely like the last dozen times or so. Or ever. In fact, the only two Oscar winners I can name are my relative and Hattie McDaniel.

So I'm likely to have a nice quiet evening.


I found out yesterday that my relative is married to a blonde. Which is remarkable primarily because that makes him the only one. I've made a helpful schematic in order to help me recognize her in case we ever meet.

Hi. I'm your granduncle-in-law's kid. The only surviving member of that side of the family.


Both of them are Hollywoodian, so I fully expect them to catch weird religion and develope peculiarities and strange dietary habits within the next decade or so. Which will be a pity, because I know that at least one of them comes from decent stock.
Statistical probability. It has to be so. Fifty percent.



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