OOLONG AND CHOCOLATES

My working days are marked by an excess of tea, and sometimes chocolates. I now have oolong tea at work. Because of which by twelve noon I am usually high as a kite. The little chocolates are excellent palate refreshers if you smoke, which I do. Four pipefulls while at work today.

The boys in the backroom rely in whiskey most of the time. And some of them really shouldn't drive before they get there. Mental stability anf sound judgement are not their strong suits.

You would think that if I'm whacked outta my gourd on caffeine and theobromine, and they are not sane to begin with, it would be perfect. But that would be overlooking sentience.
I have bucketloads of it, they, mmm, not so much. I am sapient.
They are mutant outer space slime beings.
Slithery mold cultures.

By tea time I could have dealt with scones, clotted cream, and fruit preserves, properly Devonshirian, to go with my cups of tea. Saddly, it was tuna fish on American bread.
So although I alleviated it with copious squirts of Sriracha, it just wasn't the same.

I would love to blame them specifically for that situation.
However it's just Marin County, a hellscape.
Also, very few taco trucks.

Still, that's infinitely better than the German tourist who sat near me on the bus in Sausalito. Who must have been subsisting entirely on beans during their visit to America. Maybe they were vegetarians, or our bean lard mulch is so exquisite that they demanded it for breakfast lunch and dinner. The touristisches gästehaus where they are staying surely must be wondering about that.

Wie schmecken unsere bohnen ihnen?
Gefallen sie dir?

America is an unusual place. We have plenty of beans. In most of Europe, as is well known, they only have Heinz baked beans in a can, the British preference (as well as an alternative to mushy peas). The entire place is paved with baked beans on toast.

I like tourists. They have interesting points of view, and I can listen in on them talking without showing anything, because most of us Americans don't understand a single word of their languages. Plus I'm good at studiously looking like a plank-faced uber goober.
But I am not looking forward to the height of the tourist season.
At least not on the busses across the bridge.
See, there's bean lard mulch.
A perfect food.



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