THE TOFU EATERS

My apartment mate worries about her sense of taste and smell. She's been fighting a respiratory thing, and in consequence everything tastes bland. As she was admitting on the phone to her boyfriend when I returned home from work. I likewise fought the respiratory thing recently.
It lasted the better part of a month.
I've infected several people.

I won.


My taste has come back, and today's smoking of Stonehenge Flake was superlative in three different pipes. I know that I should have told her "do not worry, your taste and smell will return", but by the time I finally thought to do so I was in the kitchen preparing myself some citrus and chili chicken, sticky rice with peanuts, and a side of bacon and peppers curry.

I dare not open the door while doing that.

For one thing, the various stuffed creatures hanging around the apartment (her room, my room, and the common room) kick up a fuss when they smell meat, and start loudly worrying was it someone they know, who's missing, is that aunt Martha, will we be next. Time for a head count.
I have tried to assure them it just tofu, don't worry.
But they threaten to leave nevertheless.
Or strangle me in my sleep.
Pre-emptively.

For another, whenever I cook with chilies or chili paste, a certain person starts having serious trouble inhaling and exhaling properly, because the capsaicin becomes airborne .....

Cough cough cough.

I don't have that problem.

But she is fighting a respiratory thing. Why make it worse?


In case you're wondering, she also loudly asserts that she is cooking tofu whenever she does bacon, or porkchops, or chicken, or steak and eggs.
To the best of my knowledge she has never actually cooked tofu.
Honest, it's lots of tofu, sweet juicy delicious tofu!
Me they distrust, they believe her.

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