ADIPOSE TISSUE

What does the peculiar man do on a day off? He gets a haircut, has a bite to eat, smokes his pipe, and goes down to Sue Bierman Park to commune with the parrots. And hears his barber say to someone else that he does not congress women. Which is, strictly speaking, not entirely false.
There is a singular lack in my life.

My barber probably thinks I am at the very least gender-weird, because he has never heard me mention women in any way.
Not in my life, nor as an interest.

He has never seen my eyes scoping out female charms.
Of which I am an avid fan.


But discussing those charms is not, usually, a sound conversational gambit in any language, unless one is the Dirty Vicar of Monty Python fame, who proudly exclaims:

"I LIKE TITS!"

["Yes indeed, I find the grounds delightful and the servants most attentive, and particularly the little serving maid with the great big knockers, and when she ..... "]


Unless one is a man of the cloth, such a statement is considered gauche.

Having never discussed breasts in Cantonese, I am somewhat at a loss for words in case I ever need to explain to my barber, or anyone else in his presence, that, like the Dirty Vicar, I like tits.

Until mere moments ago I did not know that such things were called 乳房 ('yiu fong'), as in 我鍾意乳房 ('ngo jong yi yiu fong'). Confirmed by a google search on the term 乳房 that brought up 奶子 ('naai ji') in addition to pictures of cake, alarm bells, face masks, George Bush and Vladimir Putin, plus brassieres and a man wearing a bycicle helmet.

鍾意 ('jong yi') is the verb 'to like' in Cantonese.
Like very much: 好鍾意 ('hou jong yi').

The only time I used that verb yesterday was when my barber exclaimed over the cured meat (臘肉 'laap yiuk') which I purchased three doors up that it was overly fatty and probably unhealthy.
But I like fatty meat!




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