Wednesday, July 26, 2017

THE ANGRY GORILLAS ARE PROBABLY STARVING

Best and worst line I heard recently was "ooh sh*t here come da gorilla", said about an angry black female behemoth approaching a cop swinging. This in a video sent to me by one of my more sensitive "pals" who told me to control my new girlfriend. Which, plainly put, is absurd.
I would never date anyone bigger than the cops.
Or meaner.

More foul-mouthed, maybe.

Straight-shooting women can be utterly charming, particularly if they look totally sweet and innocent while putting a painful word-burn in the ears of someone who did not expect that.

[FYI: There is no girlfriend.]


In response I sent back a link to the video entitled 'Family Guy Little Red Riding Hood Massacre', in which Stewie plays Little Red Riding Hood, and Peter Griffin is the lunatic going house to house murdering people.
I asked him to guess what I was thinking at that moment.

He responded "you like Meg Griffin".
Disgusting pervert.



OOH SH*T HERE COME DA GORILLA!

It's tourist season. I've already heard very large people from elsewhere asking what something is, while pointing at edibles in Chinatown, after ascertaining that the counter woman does not speak fluent international English. When she then clearly enunciates "linyung baau" (蓮蓉包), or "mui choi kau yiuk" (梅菜扣肉), they look more baffled than ever, albeit so happy that she responded, and resolve to accept that answer while firmly rejecting the idea of buying some. This charade continues until they spot the can of Coca Cola. Aha! we will buy ONE can of coke! The minuscule profit from this transaction will recompense you for the five minutes you wasted on the seven of us, good woman, while three people impatiently waited behind the blockage we formed that they could not get past!


Linyung baau is a lotus seed paste filled steamed bun. Very good. Mui choi kau yiuk is thick cut streaky pork cooked till tender with salt-cured brassica and a thin jus, also very good.


Many tourist groups resemble the Griffins from Family Guy.
Except they aren't as lovably idiosyncratic.
Or adventurous.


梅菜扣肉,蓮蓉包

Both of these are tasty and maybe you should try them. Mui choi kau yiuk over rice is a very satisfying lunch, linyung baau can be a splendid early morning or afternoon teatime snack. Nix the soft drink.
Carbonated beverages are bad for you.

I hesitate to suggest anything else.
Many of you have limitations.


Neither of these contain salt fish or octopus.
You're thinking of Mediterranean food.
Perfect with fizzy beverages.




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5 comments:

Skank said...

But, but, but, Meg Griffin is over eighteen now!

Meg is eighteen now! said...

And she's your type, exactly like you are hers!

Dead Faisal said...

She knows no bounds!

Kumiko said...

American nerd snark is the finest in the world!

The back of the hill said...

Eat my shorts.

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