THE SCOTTISH ARE THE NEXT INDIANS

This blogger cannot help but feel that, instead of the huge number of very fine Indian gentlemen like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon running convenience stores and small late night groceries in the United States, what we really need are Scotsmen. I came to this conclusion after a reader called me to task for describing the Scots as blazingly queer, as well as "hairy balled", and a "depressing lot, daft and angst-ridden", in previous essays here.
Apparently I do not respect the Scots.

I thought I was in a position to judge, seeing as there are one or two kilt-wearing deviants deep within the family woodpile.
You know. Calvinists.

Unfortunately, being mostly of Dutch-American ancestry, I could have been mistaken. The Dutch compete with the Scots in all those areas and many others, so there may be a certain jealousy going on.

Although we do have far better gin.

As everyone agrees.


But anyhow, back to the idea of Quick-E-Marts. The Dutch are a nation of shopkeepers, but in my estimation, the Scots are just plain better at it.

Which the authoritative video below demonstrates.


NO BUNS FOR YOUR WIENER


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-CmKPYzUIw.]

Now that is mercantile talent, mate. The dashing proprietor shows a gift for his trade, as well as the remarkable ability to satisfy exactly the right element. He will provide the cheerful young lady with rolls, but NOT the dour, depressing, daft, and angst-ridden hairy-balled savage.

One must be selective about one's rolls.


Your typical Dutchman, faced with this situation, would have simply said "here's your roll, that will be ten pounds". Where's the education in that?!?


The reason why it should be a Scotsman, and not an Indian, running the neighborhood store, is because it all sounds much better with a Jock accent, than if Apu Nahasapeemapetilon was saying it.

"I am sorry, at this time we are having no rolls of any kind whatsoever, what were you thinking you very stupid person, now go away and stop irritating me with your silly sausage problem!
Thank you please come again!"

See? It's wrong.












Scots would also make better computer help-desk representatives than the Indians, except that they might be too dim.




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