Sunday, March 20, 2016

THESE ARE THE UNDEAD PERSONALITIES

As I was devouring my fried noodles with porky bits and vegetables, an irritating noise became apparent. It was the kind of sound one expects from spoiled brats just before they get slapped, as well as a certain class of Shanghainese woman (typically, the pampered money lender's moll, mistress, or concubine). The originator was not of brat age -- though she sounded like she had not progressed one iota since then -- and judging by the language, not Shanghainese either. Unless she and that unfortunate husband-thing of hers had only Mandarin in common, and she was channeling for the entire Wusong sisterhood.


[NOTE: Wusong (吳淞) is the river which becomes Suzhou Creek (蘇州河) and joins the estuary at Hu Du (滬瀆 "Fishing-spear Gutter"), also called 吳淞口 ("Wu Song Mouth") right where the Huangpu ( 黄浦江 "Yellow Shore River") and the Yangtze (揚子江 "Winnower River") form an estuary. It is the epicentre of the world, according to the natives, and they prize its beauty and its catfish, utterly disregarding the effluviatic miasmas and the far too frequent decomposing pig carcasses (黄浦江死猪漂流事件) floating down the stream. Shanghainese smoked fish (蘇式燻魚) and sweet and sour fish (松子桂花魚) are famous local delicacies.]


Stuff like that sets your teeth on edge.

No offense intended to the Shanghainese dudes I hung out with years ago, but I now understand very well why one of them fell for the tall big-boobied blonde, and the other one married a small Japanese girl.
Anything to get away from the bitchy whining.

撒嬌

It isn't rare among other Chinese women either, but most often the ones who have it are advertising that all they have going for them is perceived sexual desirability. Sure, they may have a university degree, but they probably forgot everything the moment they graduated, because they had NO intention of using it for anything other than boosting their status and catching a banker. Many of them never made it that far, having at best a diploma from secretarial school or a beauty academy.


Some girls from Hong Kong also have it, but they need to be smacked; no self-respecting Cantonese woman should EVER sound like that.


BEIJING - SHANGHAI - TAIPEI - BEVERLY HILLS - NEW JERSEY - NEW YORK - BERKELEY & OAKLAND


Among Caucasians, it is not uncommon among snooty blondes, rich girls, and women of certain over-rated European derivations.
None of whom you should be caught dead with.


嗯,你不愛我 ... !
['Mmm, Ni PU ai wo ... !']


"You don't love me", whined huffily in an accusatory pouting snarly yet almost whimperingly disappointed baby-voice pissy manner. To which, logically, the response should have been "damned straight, bitch" (沒錯啦,你是這樣發牢騷的,真麻煩!).

Such behaviour is, basically, blackmail, and people who think it is both cute and appropriate behaviour have screws loose, irrespective of whether they are on the petulant side or the bepetulated end.

An adult should not act like an icky-poo baby.

He really should have firmly told her that he had a back zit with a better personality than her. You know, I honestly cannot remember what she looked like. Her attitude alone blanked that out of my mind.

On the other hand, I can still taste and see those yummy noodles. They were surpassingly delicious. I used more hotsauce than usual to distract me from the horrid sexpot and her henpecked biscuit.

Some men deserve women like that.

I prefer hotsauce.



I'll certainly go back for the noodles, and I particularly like that they have a nice hotsauce. The right red stuff is a detail, attention to which endears a place, and shows that the people running it really care.

I still wish I had shown up in time for the lunch special.
A plate of lovely grilled lamb chops, rice & soup.
Haven't had lamb in a while, more's the pity.
Good lamb is worth a special trip.

Come to think of it, I also can't recall what those two ghastly Mandarin speakers were having. Probably something pedestrian, because they didn't recognize anything Cantonese, and refused to experiment.

It may have been sweet and sour pork.




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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you're unlike other bloggers. You never show pictures of yourself!

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