Wednesday, December 16, 2015


Necessary background: Savage Kitten is my apartment mate. We are not romantically involved. We've been friends for a long time. Years ago I would come home to find her watching Valley of the Dolls', which is a very bad musical. It has several songs which are quite horrid. "I'll Plant My Own Tree" is one of those, but not the only one.
She memorized the lyrics.
All of them.

Yesterday was Savage Kitten's birthday. She stayed home.
It was one of my days off. I didn't get to smoke.

Normally, on my days off (which fall on week days), as soon as she has toddled off to work, I sneck her door, throw open the windows, and light up. First pipe of the day, strong coffee, and I'm good to go.
Yesterday I did indeed have strong coffee.

She sings.

I got to hear several songs from Oklahoma, South Pacific, Guys and Dolls, Paint Your Wagon (feh!), and Annie Get Your Gun.
Plus something from The Pirates of Penzance.
And Valley of the Dolls.

The worst song yesterday was "Bloody Mary Is The Girl I Love".

Yes, Savage Kitten was in great high spirits. No, I've never wondered if the apartment mate might be just a little bit crazy. But suffice to say that South Pacific was hardly what the Badger wanted in the morning.

It is extremely likely that she will be borrowing a disc of South Pacific from the library soon.

I had to explain what betel nuts were.

Help. I am being threatened.

And I cannot smoke.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Cocaine Bob said...

Did you see my comment below? What was the story behind your three months without tobacco? Please, the story! A post!

Cocaine Bob said...

Is there going to be such a post? Please, please! We're waiting with bated breath! (Not baited breath -- that's how one's cat's breath smells after it has eaten mouse-bait.)

Jim Tisch said...

"I'll Plant My Own Tree" is horrid only when sung by Savage Kitten. The song was written for Liza's mother: , and it sounds much better when she sings it. OK, it's not exactly the most interesting song; but still, surely much better than Savage Kitten's performance. See, this is why you should have dated Liza, and not Savage Kitten.

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