A CUNNING PLAN

Blood pressure pills. Coffee. Tobacco. And cat feeding. Meaning that the apartment mate is downstairs feeding our landlady's cat, because she is in Greece (the landlady, that is, not the cat), and will be gone till next week. My apartment mate is not familiar with cats. She does not quite "get" that motorboat sound. But she understands the claws. She herself thinks in terms of claws.

She has been training a coworker on the database. Claws would be useful in that regard. You've seen those internet videos of a parrot pestering a cat? Precisely so.
The coworker is rather of like that parrot.

Parrots need attention.


Cats just want to drop a dead mouse in your lap and be done with it. "Here, it's defective, wind it back up or install new batteries. Do something!" I'm not at all sure how the cat feels about my apartment mate singing to it. But she wants to swat the coworker with a dead rodent. Repeatedly. And bat it away fiercely.


The coworker is a Filippina whom I have dubbed 'Jessie Belle' because that sounds like a Filippina slash Southern woman type of name. Sweetness, light, butterflies, and an intensely saccharine irritational factor. I have worked with Filippinas and do not particularly wish to relive those moments. Though I will say that Filippino food can be extemely nice.
Great sugary snacks, too.

Crows are quite trainable. Give them food, and they'll eventually try to establish an equitable relationship. "Give me snackies, big biped, and I will give you shiny things, or nice pebbles! Here is a bottlecap!" And to the crow, that's a fair trade. We can now line our nest with a collection of comfort pieces.

A crow would be quite happy with a freshly dead rodent.
Remember to have one in your pocket.
Just in case.


Heading out for the first pipe of the day soon. There are crows in this neighborhood. I haven't established a nodding familiarity with them, what with not customarily carrying any recently butchered small critters on my person. Sad. But perhaps if I become friendly with the cat downstairs, things may change. Wish me luck.



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