INCENTIVES FOR LITTLE BROWN GIRLS

There are some lead sentences that just tell you that whatever that "news story" actually is, it both exemplifies and defies all expectations. It is totally Southern, White Trash, Poor White Fly-over, Inner City Rap Gangsta, Suburban, New Age Hippie, Artistic And Possibly Special Dietary Requirements Yuppie. Both Steinbeckian and post-Steinbeckian. American.
Good lord, can't get any more all-American than that.

"The groom's pregnant mistress ... "

Yeah, no. Don't want to read anymore. Ain't going there. Please give me newsfeed about civil wars in the third world instead. Anything is better than that. So I don't actually know what came after "the groom's pregnant mistress". If you want to know, good for you, please Google it. It's what the internet was invented for.

It's solidly Jerry Springer out there.

We can imagine that people all over the world deeply desire to come to the United States after seeing stuff like that, because life in their village is so boring and devoid of vulgarity, immoral shiznit, chaos, flamboyant bad taste ...

Or medication for syphilis, essential to life in Mississippi.

ARKANSAS TRAILER PARK

As it is, I am surprised that more Americans aren't in jail.


This, possibly, explains why middle class Americans are such workaholics, spending long hours at the office, burning themselves out on stupid projects the dicks in upper management think are important, demanding less time off less paid sickleave fewer holidays. They are all desperate to get away from Alabama and Iowa and wipe their minds clean in the privacy of the men's bathroom on the thirteenth floor with that bottle of Jim Beam that was in the boss's desk as well as his secret stash of coke generously razorbladed on a cistern lid snorted in between huffing the raspberry flavoured pcp and thc vape they bought in Oakland.


Happy Labor Day. You know Musk and the RNC resent you for having that, don't you?
To say nothing of the owners of the Triangle ShirtWaist Company.
And Henry Ford is turning over in his grave.



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