EXTERIOR SCENE

When the apartment mate is at home, I must go outside to smoke. Which is problematic as there is no ashtray there. Where, as an example, do I dispose of my pipe cleaners? How about the ashes when I have finished the bowl? Where do I sit contemplatively while earthmothers scream that I'm ruining the planet and killing butterflies and kittens?

There is a bench across the street from a grammar school.
I can be an example to the little brutes.

If any Karens come to scream I will point out that I am more than the legally required distance away from operable doors, windows, air vents, ventilation systems, and screaming brats. I am, in fact, across the street entirely, a different time zone, another planet.
Near a restaurant, yes, but around the corner and down the street.
I am a rugged outdoorsman.

And I haven't had lunch yet. So, seeing as breakfast is not something I do, my bloodsugar level may be low and my mood not foul but fragile and near the border line. Could get foul at any moment if you karenize. Please don't be karenicious. My spirit animal is a grizzly bear.

Karenocity is not appreciated. Let this be a karen-free zone.
Save your karenating for the suburbs.
Boo!

Except for the pipe and smoke, the scene above could be an advertisement for hunting gear or tofu. And, in the fifties and sixties, it well might have been. Such scenes alternated with domestic interiors showing a clean cut man wearing a houndstooth sports coat relaxing in an easy chair after coming home from work with his pipe and his newspaper, bourbon on the side table, wife thing wearing a no-nonsense apron visible in the kitchen preparing meatloaf and a delicious canned mixed vegetables casserole, boy and girl child on the oval rug in front of the victrola playing with a toy train and a doll, dog and cat dozing, gold fish in bowl, stationwagon in the drive way that can be seen through the picture window.

Smoke Old Bag, drive a Houndbanger, eat delicious Splong.
And have a chilled Rancid Bogman cocktail!

Cheese in every mouthful.

Cheese, Karen, cheese! What could be more American than that? Your sneering disapproval of what I'm doing is un-patriotic! Are you a commie? This country was founded on cheese



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