Saturday, December 25, 2021

AND LITTLE CHILDREN LOVE THE SMELL!

This is a sampling of internet commentary on a day that is fairly meaningless for a man who doesn't have a family, or kinfolk within five hundred miles. No weird little social games.

By the way: for some people, Christmas means no smoking inside.
Pipe, walk, rain. Repeat.


Begin:

A serious man once wrote a book endeavoring to explain that the prevalence of little people stories and myths in North Brabant was due to inbreeding. His theory was that congenital idiots and freaks would run away from home or be left out on the moors, and those that survived (but could not find their way home) gave rise to stories of gnomes or kobolds .......
We WOULD have been outraged, but his book sank like a rock.
Reading being rather a skill of civilized society ........

What every woman needs for Xmas: a pistacchio hued vacuum cleaner to match her favourite pistacchio hued frock. That man might not find his goolies again in this life.

Bumblebees are social insects. Invite them for lunch.

For beginners I usually recommend one pouch of Luxury Navy, one pouch of Arango Balkan Supreme, both carried by many tobacconists. Reasons being that they are both excellent products widely available and representative of their categories, quite different from each other, and a good introduction to whichever type a person will gravitate toward. But there are many fine tobaccos available, and the one a person starts with is usually not the one they'll be smoking in a year or two. Other people often recommend 1Q (a mild easy smoking mainly Cavendish blend, aromatic). Which is one of the most popular tobaccos in the country and one many people like, and which many people have smoked with great enjoyment for years. In any case, keep in mind that there is no rule that you have to load all the way to the top (and end up with a soggy bottom if you don't finish), don't smoke hot, and keep the pipe clean.
Your pipe is like your underwear. Avoid a soggy bottom. Clean occasionally.

An umbrella is wonderful.

Best aromatic pipe tobacco for that Christmassy aroma: Lane Limited LL-7
Burley, Cavendish, and Virginia, flavoured with caramel and vanilla.
Probably banned in many locales because, as we have been told by concerned mothers all over Alameda County, San Francisco, and Marin, little children just love flavoured tobacco, why, the doors to your neighborhood tobaconist are mobbed by the little shits desperate for such things, they're beating the old codgers to death and stealing their ancient briars, howling, foaming at the mooth. They're cranky! And it's not green and ethically sourced!
Very mild. Consistent. Suggestive of chocolate. Not top heavy with nicotine, and if smoked at a reasonable pace, as little children often do, it doesn't bite your tongue. More vanilla than 1-Q, more caramel then RLP-6. Perfect for the nursery.

Today you can actually find parking in this neighborhood. All the younger people have gone somewhere else.

It is remarkable how many pipesmokers on the internet today have whisky before lunch.

It is remarkable how many pipesmokers look like Santa Claus.

Great cartoon, but he can't draw a cat.

A three pound lobster.

End.



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In many ways I am a severely disapproving sort. I dislike tattoos, piercings, patchouli, raggedy tee-shirts, potsmoking, public misbehaviour...