Like many of you, I have been scouring the news to find out what Ammon Bundy up in Oregon has done with the fifty five gallon drum of personal lubricant that got sent to him and his boys as a "suggestion". You'll recall that Max Temkin, co-founder of Cards Against Humanity, decided that the boys in Malheur needed some help digesting the several hundred dildoes and vibrators that well-wishers had donated to their little land-grabbing ammosexual he-man commune.
What did they do with the personal lubricant?!?
My friend the book seller is convinced that they're using it to fry-up roadkill. Which is an educated guess. Before their friends sent them rubber toys, they were desperate. They begged for help and attention on their facebook pages and in viral videos.
While I like that theory, it has to be wrong. Reason being that what with packing guns and ammo, along with the batteries for their authentic ranch cellular devices (selfies!), beard-grooming supplies, and those impressive cowboy hats, they probably forgot to bring frypans.
Besides, they're all old-fashioned guys, who hold no truck with modern-fangled luxuries like personal lubricant; like their fathers before them, they use rendered animal grease.
Suet or tallow; it's good for any number of purposes.
Applied topically it will loosen the stiff joints.
Good for those bags under the eyes.
Soothing to ranch hands.
No chafing.
A man has gotta do something in the freezing Oregon cold.
Might as well make it a totally Bundy experience.
Bundy till you drop.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
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A couple of quotes come to mind:
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
"Man is not by nature, deserving of all he wants. When we think we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking allover others to get it."
There is such a spirit of entitlement these days in the West. Our "leaders" have prompted such division among the people and continue the old policy of panem et circenses...
We truly have mistaken freedom of choice for personal freedom.
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