MIDDLE AGED WHITE GUY FLUSTERS CHINESE WAITRESS

It was quite unfair, and I'm very sorry. Her Cantonese and mine were at different levels, and as I was the customer, it put her at a disadvantage.
And I had no business speaking Cantonese in the first place.
But I did. In such environments, I always do.
It gets me what I want.

Usually.

Now, you need to know that 涼 ('leung'; "cool") and 兩 ('leung'; two of something) sound nearly the same. And that bittermelon is commonly called 苦瓜 ('fu gwaa') in Chinatown Cantonese. Which is why one restaurant changed the names of several of their dishes. They call it 苦瓜 ('fu gwaa'), their customers also call it 苦瓜, and almost no one except menu writers and Dutchmen call it 涼瓜 ('leung gwaa').

Elsewhere, it still shows up as 涼瓜.

I had finished my shopping, but had not actually eaten anything yet, and it was dinner time. So, being curious as to whether they also did baked Portuguese chicken rice -- which I wasn't planning to order, but I just wanted to check -- I went in and avidly studied the menu.

What I ordered was 涼瓜斑球飯，同埋一杯港式奶茶，唔該。Bitter melon and fish chunks over rice, and a cup of Hong Kong style milk-tea, if you please ('leung gwaa pan kau faan, tong mai yat pui gong sik naai chaa, m-koi')

Oh boy, dinner was going to be good!

I waited with eager anticipation.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

What I got was TWO plates of fish and some kind of vegetable over rice. It turns out that she heard 兩 when I said 涼 and was too flustered to ask for clarification but instead nervously construed amiss.
I have no idea what she took 瓜 to mean.

No bitter melon.

I explained that 'leung gwaa' meant the same as foo gwar. Fu gwaa. Yat yeung ge, hai m-hai. On their menu it says leung gwaa, but that means fu gwaa. And there's only one of me, not two. She looked crestfallen.
I told her I would eat one of the servings anyhow.
But just one.


[Leung: 涼 = three dots water (氵) and the false phonetic element 京 。
Cool, cold. Because that is its effect on the body. 苦 = Fu; bitter.]



The owners are mainlanders, I believe, and she is probably a locally born relative given a part-time job to earn money for college. Just guessing.
But she speaks English entirely without accent.

I'm fairly certain that she would have to pay for her mistake.

I left a more than seventy percent tip.

If I go there a few more times during her shifts, it will even out, and she'll end up ahead. Next time I'll have to bring a small notepad, however, because she may never have heard of 焗豬扒飯 ('guk chü paa faan') before. It's very Hong Kong, and not at all Chinatown.
I'll have to write it down.


The benefit of this plan for me is that I like the place, I've always liked cha-chanteng. Plus each table has a bottle of Sriracha.
And the young lady is nice to look at.
That adds sweetness.



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