Tuesday, January 26, 2016

FAT AND HAPPY PAKISTANI BOYS

The government of Pakistan is determined to end their country's addiction to smut. Which seems cruel and perverse, seeing as Pakistan leads the world for internet searches that would result in naked pictures of white women. And brown women. And strangely coloured women from cartoons and anime, or any other naked, near-naked, semi-naked, partially naked, and even somewhat clothed or veiled women, doing things which of which their mothers would disapprove, some of which are physically impossible.

A Pakistani watching pornography at four in the morning is a happy man. There is probably nothing else in this world that has that effect on him.
Other than Multani Chaamp, Paya Nihari, Tarayal Patata (small wedges of potato fried in ghee with spices), Mutton Biriani, Sohan Halwa, Faluda, and a hot glass of chai.

Of course, after eating all that, you're probably going to take a very long nap, and wake up at four in the morning totally uninterested in food of any kind. What do you do?

Have another cup chai, and turn on your computer. Where your friends Hamid, Abdullah, Said, and Bilal, are all discussing naughty bits in diverse chatrooms. And posting links.

It is time for sundry degeneracies!


This is something with which this blogger can sympathize.


I too am a single man, though vastly more socially polished than the average Pakistani male, and likewise often fascinated by the opposite gender. Because I live in San Francisco, my love life is also entirely hypothetical.

But, though I do have a smutty mind, my internet searches are largely food-related. Multani Chaamp, Paya Nihari, Tarayal Patata, Mutton Biriani, Sohan Halwa, Faluda .....

Pakistani food, Bengali food, Panjabi food, that sumptuous biriani from the Pathan place behind the Red Mosque (they use LOTS of ghee), mithai, halwa .....


On behalf of my regrettably Pakistani fellow man, I would urge the Pakistani government in Islamabad to cease their vile crusade against pornography.
It is the only thing keeping Pakistanis from killing each other.


Naked titties promote sanity.



MASALA CHAI

Per cup:

One heaping TBS black tea leaves.
Eight green cardamom pods.
A slice of ginger.
A small fragment of cinnamon.
Half Tsp. fennel seeds.
One heaping TBS sugar.
One cup water.
Half cup milk.

Crack open the green cardamom pods so that the seeds are exposed. Bring water to a boil, add the cardamom and other spices, and simmer five minutes to release the flavour into the water. Add the tea leaves, simmer at just below boiling for a couple minutes, then add sugar & milk and simmer for another five minutes. Pour the liquid through a strainer (chai ki jhalani) into a clean porcelain cup, and have a laddoo on the side.




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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the masala chai recipe. I was just wondering how I might enjoy a nice hot cup of chai without going to one of those rancid Pakistani dabbas in the Tenderloin!

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