THE TENTACLES IN MY HEAD

Not everybody appreciates depravity. This becomes apparent when rereading some of my more perverse previous posts, and realizing that A) they seldom show statistically as being regularly visited, and B) there are no comments underneath. Over three years ago I wrote about octopus sex, and NO ONE REACTED!

What is wrong with you people?!? Don't any of you have an interest in how boneless geeks swimming in the ocean reproduce?

Thousands of little octopodes!

With big bright eyes.


Maybe I should immerse a computer in the sea. With detailed instructions for use. And valuable pointers.


"Please do NOT employ your suckers here!"


Octopi are soft and squishy. Not, strictly speaking huggable. Which is a very great pity, because they have excellent taste in seafood, and this blogger appreciates that in his pets, stuffed animals, apartment mates, and girl-friends.


My EX-girlfriend is not interested in octopuses either, but she has a deep and abiding interest in squid.


I cannot remember what any love interests before the last relationship felt about the creatures -- that was a very long time ago -- but I'm sure that if they had any feelings about them at all it involved white wine, olive oil, lemon, and herbs, a la Grecque. Or tomato puree and garlic.

That was both very French and very Catholic of them.

But for that, I should wish to be an octopus.

In the presence of a charming woman.

And employ my suckers well.

Oh Jayzus yes.


As usual, my mind is in the gutter. Sorry about that. It's a low though uncommon denominator. Most people are far too clean-minded.



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