Someone who hangs out at a place I frequent made a remarkably unsubtle play for a woman who is staying with a mutual friend. This happened with numerous witnesses around, and may or may not have involved a burger.
The burger is somewhat material.
I also think that a burger is an appropriate love-gift, Jesus yes! But a burger should only happen AFTER a relationship involving food and mutual interest in consuming the same with subtexts has been established, not before!
Not that it was actually phrased this way, but the phrase "hello you lovely thing I wish to get into your panties with a hamburger" is quite insane. Even if was a bacon cheese burger (with fries!), the assumed causal connection should not be made, and does not hold water.
SHUT THE THIRD VOICE UP!
Please don't listen to what your squidgy bit tells you.
I firmly believe that one should never listen to one's organ. Not only does it give bad food advice, but it also leads one to offend against nature.
And ethics. And the appropriate code of conduct.
Plus stupid behaviour in public.
"Hello you lovely thing I wish to get into your panties! With a hamburger!"
In addition to all those other mistakes, the strongly felt opinions of male organs of reproduction are also complicit in sports commentary, irresponsible driving, and the entire Republican Party.
Yes, that last one is an irrelevant and opportunistic swipe, possibly contumacious, and entirely beside the point. But I felt like it.
Which is NOT the same as giving my dingdong a voice.
If grown men cannot ignore their urges in public, they should use cold showers, ice packs, medication, and restraint devices.
I can provide valuable instruction.
Just ask.
Civilized man does NOT proposition a woman in a social environment with everyone as witnesses. Phone numbers or other contact data may be very discretely exchanged, with, perhaps, the excuse that at some point in the not too distant future, one might wish to share burgers during daytime.
With bacon, cheese (Cheddar, Bleu, or Jack), and fries.
Or without the bacon, if she is a vegan.
Personally, I would be much more likely to suggest dim sum or pastries, in large part because a mutual appreciation for such things would signify to me that we have much in common, and secondarily because watching someone eat a burger is not a pretty sight. It can be horrifying.
I really like dim sum.
And pastries.
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