WHAT IS THAT RACKET?

White people should not sing David Bowie. White people should not sing Elton John. White people should not sing smarmy Mandarin love ballads. All of this was already known, but made quite clear last night.

We went in resolved to have just two, after which we would make our escape. Unfortunately, drunken white people waltzing into a Chinese karaoke bar always fascinate me, because I like to observe trainwrecks, so we stayed a little too long. While I was outside smoking, an evil person poured my friend two or several more. In consequence of which, or perhaps to take revenge for, he spilled the beans about my birthday.

After mature consideration, I am convinced that white people should not sing. Ever. Anything. At all.


Croaky sounds.



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