It is more than a little disturbing to me that the stuffed animals have more exciting love lives than myself. Why, they seem to be full of vibrancy, spirit, and, dare I say it, passion.
[Necessary background for new readers: There are over two dozen stuffed animals in this apartment, collectively refered to as "The Roomies". Nearly half of them reside in the room of my apartment mate, where they guard the jewelry box and cluster around the "Head Roomie", who is a fearsome senior teddy bear of great wisdom and perspicacity. The rest are on my side of the apartment, and unfortunately represent a lack of sanity and balance. For some inexplicable reason, I have all the loonies.]
Given the right circumstance, I likewise could be full of vibrancy, spirit, and passion. Though it seems hard to imagine now, having not been in such a situation for several years.
Ms. Bruin is being courted by Arabello Oyster, that being the control monkey, who is a small purple-black gorilla. The fuchsia striped cat has Max (a sockmonkey), and Miss Angus (the she-sheep who is the acting head-roomie when Ms. Bruin takes a break) is seeing a big black spider with bright blue eyes and an intelligent hopeful expression on his face.
There are other relationships, but we need not describe them.
Almost all of these couples are very well matched.
Suffice to say I am quite jealous.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
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My grandfather's name was Kerchy. I think he was a Jewish. Are you an Israelite? I know all about the Jewish! Bagels and lox are a big mitzvah to eat on Rosh Hoodesh. That makes me feel all farklempt all over!
Momma rarely, and never around the kids, used profanity. But when she did use it, it was always funny. Like -- what happened was -- we were in some crazy place, like Lake Taho. And we went into the ladies' room, and there was an old drunk lady in there, and it's just, like, you know, the sequined straps, one of those dames, and she said: "Oh Judy, you're terrific. The rainbow, you gotta always remember the rainbow." Then she went into one of the stalls; the lady knocked on the door. She said: "Yes?" She said: "Judy, never forget the rainbow. God has helped me through so many crisises and..." Well momma came back. Then she went up to her -- the lady went up to mom, and said: "I'd just like to say hello." And momma looked said and her and said: "hi". Which made me start thinking... Now, she went on and on and on about the rainbow, and about this and that, and dear little girl, and on and on and on. And as we were going out, she had on this incredible feathered boa, which someone had given her as a present, which was way too big for her, because she was tiny: she came up to here [just below the shoulder] on me. And the last thing that this lady said, again, was: "Don't forget the rainbow, Judy." And momma turned, and threw the boa around herself, and said: "How can I forget the rainbow? I've got rainbows up my ass."
Dear most munificent BotH,
Please, I pray thee, approve my comment for posting, for thou art merciful and gracious.
Be also kind to thy humble commenter, and bestow me with a post as response to my comment, preferably a LONG post.
How can I possibly thank you for such a favor? Thine honor is all in duty.
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