DELICIOUS MIDDLE-AGED MAN
I am a pipe smoker, ergo I do not smell 'funny'.
I smell good.
Oh, there's also a hint of cigar in the mix, as well as warm caffeinated beverages, and sometimes cleaning fluid. Tar, woodsmoke, sealing wax.
Ink both Chinese and Indian. All in all, I smell so darn delicious I'm surprised that a large spectrum of womanhood, from teenage girl to retired matron, isn't following me at all times, drooling and panting.
I blame the modern age for this sad state of affairs.
As well as many new forms of technology.
WHENEVER I SMELL SOMETHING FUNNY, IT'S YOUR SNEAKERS
It probably doesn't surprise you that I still possess a typewriter, as well as a couple of sliderules. Marvelous things, sliderules... perfect for flicking a spitwad at the back of someone's head in class.
In addition to smelling wonderful (albeit slightly old-school), I am also adept at looking innocent. Not studiously innocent. Not pretend innocent. Genuinely and honestly innocent. Forthright, sincere. Sweet.
Nope, no idea where that wet clump came flying from.
Maybe it was space aliens?
Unlike nearly everyone else, I always did exceptionally well in classes that required a sliderule.
So, in answer to your question, it must be her sneakers.
Feel free to sniff me.
If you were lucky enough to smell me today, you would have had a real treat. You see, I hurriedly tossed the wrong tobacco pouch into my Hello Kitty backpack as I was leaving the house, and didn't discover till after the noon bell that instead of a nice super-aged blonde flake I had crumbs of a stale Latakia mixture that I cannot even remember with me.
So perforce I made use of sample tins that were laying around.
Smoked three bowls during the day.
SPILLMAN MIXTURE SMOKING TOBACCO
E. Hoffman Company
Latakia, Turkish, Virginia, and a bit of Burley.
A medium English-style mixture, the Latakia made more interesting and complex by its interaction with the Burley. Some have described this as strongly suggestive of wet dog, as well as a remarkably dirty American.
I rather like it. Thoroughly enjoyed expelling the smoke through my nose. Alpha terpineols, fragrant and soothing.
Resinous, sooty, slightly sweet.
I can see myself in a different universe having a can of this around at all times.
Anyhow, I emptied out the crap that was in my pouch and replaced it with Spillman. It should be a good week.
4TH. GENERATION 1855 (ERIK PETER'S BLEND)
Stokkebye (Scandinavian Tobacco), made in Denmark.
A broken flake compose of blonde Virginias, with little complexity. But a very pleasant and enjoyable smoke, of which I am rather fond. So far I've depleted that tin by nearly half over the past month or two, and I intend to finish it off. That's largely why there is a sample tin.
Sweet, with a lucious note of fruity carotenoids.
Ionones, damascones and damascenones.
CAPSTAN, BLUE AND YELLOW
Then, when 'R' came in to learn how to smoke a pipe, precisely like his favourite author (J. R. Tolkien), I sniffed the Capstan Original Navy Cut (blue) that he had acquired, and promptly felt the urge to purchase a tin myself. Specifically, Capstan Gold Navy Cut (yellow), ready rubbed.
A very good decision. It has that sweetness and herbal perfumy quality one seeks in a blonde flake. The cut is pleasing, not too thin, nor too moist, and the broken flake needs very little further rubbing out.
Altogether a delightful half hour indulgence.
I didn't eat lunch till after five o'clock.
Breakfast, if you think about it.
But I swilled buckets of tea since early morning, so everything was fine.
It has been a very lovely day.
There are lovely fragrances adhering to me.
Complex, woodsy, and herbal.
I am a nosegay.
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