SOUNDS REMARKABLY LIKE DUTCH (NETHERLANDISH)

The other day I noticed a film clip from Lord of the Rings on a friend's facebook page. Which almost magically prompted me to watch a few other LOTR clips -- including one which did not appear in the released version of the movie, namely 'Sauron's Mouth' -- and then cruise into Wikipedia, to read up on Tolkien's stuff. Middle-Earth mythology.
Followed by articles about constructed languages.

Tolkien invented several such. But he's not the only person to have done so. Among others, Frank Herbert created one in Dune, and Nineteen Eighty Four by whatsisname also has one. As does Clockwork Orange.
Then there's Purfuit, built around the concept that an alien tribe analysed the wrong set of "human" sounds in order to find a way to communicate with man. Two tenses: stative, marked by long vowels, and 'eruptive', indicated by consonant clusters that are worse than Russian.

K'urk thrareeep, kahahakstrakhtrekhlit thlaakloukh-ta!
[English: "The elderly man began to speak".]

In which 'thrareeep' represents the condition of being old (stative), and the praefix 'kahahakstrakh' indicates an ongoing action (eruptive). Final "ta" is a directional postfix. Past tenses are eruptives with a stative praefix and one of several stative postfixes, future tenses are doubled eruptives.
Something between Tagalog and Turkish, I guess.
Some bloody awful vocalizing.

The problem with most constructed languages is that there is often not enough material to make them fully functional.

One notable exception is Klingon.

"You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon."

Which sounds entirely like hairballs being horked up.

Or Dutch.


taH pagh taHbe'

[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0k4qV1I1Y.]


There's also an opera in Klingon.

Appropriately, it was composed by a Dutchman.

And first performed in the Netherlands, where no doubt some people mistook it for Frisian. Alternatively, a Limburgian dialect.


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Oh heck, you probably want to see the Sauron's Mouth clip too.


PEARLY BRITISH TEETH

[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To_RJ_mPNqM.]


If you've ever had braces, you may have felt that you resembled either of these types. But life was much better afterwards, when you sounded normal again, and looked far more kissable.

No one kisses Klingons or the Lieutenant of Barad-dûr.




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