Thursday, May 08, 2014

HEY MARIN COUNTY, SIT UP AND PAY ATTENTION!

Why do people wear cycling apparel? I mean, why do some people INSIST upon wearing those garments? People who really shouldn't, that is. Far be it from me to recommend a burka, but sackcloth would be preferable to bicycle togs.
Anything is better than sleek aerodynamic shiny stretch fabric on the middle-aged bottom, even if the possessor of said bottom is still in his or her twenties.

They're not going nearly fast enough to make it worthwhile.

And the same can be said for yoga-pants in public.

In either case, sausage casing.


I do, as a practical aesthetic matter, appreciate the double layer of fabric up the crack. It's reinforced. Heaven forefend that there should be an accident, but at least because of two shiny layers of body-hugging material, reinforced seams, visual disaster remains unlikely.
Beyond seeing it in the first place.


Honestly, I am as salacious and perverse as the next guy, but no matter your physique, it does not appeal to me in bicycle clothing or yoga pants. It would be better if instead you were wearing French cut panties and nothing else. Or high-cuts, and nothing else. Boy shorts, or even bloomers, such as is common exercise garb in old-fashioned high-schools. Nothing else. All of these do remarkable things to the female posterior and the male mind.
Assuming that there is adherence to a dimensional standard.

People of my age should hesitate to attempt this. Much like they should put the yoga pants and bicycle tights aside too. For the common good


I speak with wisdom and good taste on this issue.

My sit-upon is exemplary only in its frequent occlusion by means of sensible clothing. Such as comfortable (baggy) slacks or chinos.

I've seen my bottom in the mirror, and know of what I speak.

'Tis a wise man who knows his own but.


Everyone who wears skin-tight shiny fabric, either doesn't know his or her own rump, OR is out to get us, by means of shock, horror, and dismay.


Only possible exception: Japanese manga heroines.

Which middle-aged Marin-county weekend fitness buffs aren't.

On the whole, I would rather see bugs for my daily dose of iridescence.



Thank you in advance for being more civic-minded.

And for saving the wales.




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