At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Monday, July 08, 2013


There's a man who works at a food & beverage place which I frequent who, if he were a woman, would be adorable and enchanting. Both his intelligence and temperament suggest that from my nefarious point of view it is a great pity indeed that he was born a male, and that both of us are heterosexual. If things were otherwise, this blogger would hang around his work environment positively drooling.
Chalk it off to the many lost opportunities that never were.
He's got a sense of humour and a warm personality.
An expressive face with twinkling eyes.

If he was a woman, I would likely make a fool of myself. Especially considering that there would certainly already be someone else in the picture. People who are that nice usually get snapped up pretty darn quick, and I'm not the only shark in this particular swimming pool.

Women like that make it much harder to act like a gentleman, while nevertheless forcing one to at all times maintain proper conduct.


"Miss, what are you doing the rest of the day? Wanna go have milk-tea or yat pui yin-yeung somewhere? I know the NICEST place! It's got an old-timey atmosphere, and all the usual pastries. No one will bother us there.
Or maybe go over to my house? See if I have any books that you would like? I can offer you a nice quiet place to browse for hours. I'll make you something warm to drink, then leave you alone to read. Would you like some cookies or hot buttered toast? If you want to talk, I'll be in the other room with my own volume and a pipe. Just make a noise if you need anything.
Feel free to kick off your shoes."

"Tell me when you need to get back. I'll make sure you get home safely, and if you want we can stop and have a bite to eat on the way. Just leave a marker in the book, and it will be ready for you next time."

"Never mind the stuffed animals; they don't bite."

"The monkey is rude but harmless."

Honestly, I've never been particularly good at approaching the other gender. They always seem so different from the people I know.
It's like most of them don't get the same jokes, can't appreciate the same narratives, or even eat the same foods.
Frequently they don't really mellow-out until they're older, by which time, alas, they're preoccupied with a pizza-snarfing dude who crept into their life when no one was looking.
But someone nice, who liked reading and dozing, and perhaps snacking a bit with a warm beverage......
A person who was capable of passing the time by herself.
But would love good company while doing so.
And the occasional bit of humour.
Plus buttered toast.

So far, it remains a charming concept.

I wouldn't be surprised if 'food and beverage man' ends up finding a person precisely like that. He's got the intelligence and temperament that deserve good things happening.

His only flaw is that he's a non-smoker.
All men should have one bad habit.
So that it can be overlooked.

NOTE: cookies and buttered toast are not metaphors, but paradigms. Although they could be metaphors. It depends entirely on what the other person wishes to read into them. I will continue to insist that they are hospitably paradigmatic until such time as it becomes evident that perhaps they are not. Cookies and toast may precede or follow the opening or closing of books.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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