At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

KILLING PUPPIES FOR CHRIST

As some of my friends know I spend Sunday and Monday in Marin County, baby-sitting people who are too old for a bottle, and too young for a luxury retirement village. Most of them smoke cigars.
And when I say "smoke cigars", that does not mean that they are in any fashion mature adults. You know that most cigar smokers are not really grown-up. They live in a never-never land where the sun is always shining, and the grass is ever green.
At times it's like being at a summer picnic in a lovely frock.
Other times, more a re-enactment of Lord of the Flies.
Multiple 'F' bombs, and vile temper tantrums.
I swear they want to bite each other.
Growling, snapping, snarling.
All teeth & claws.

Oh the humanity!

Cigar smokers.


It's because there is no decent food in Marin County that they must act so. They lack for protein. As will without a doubt fail to surprise you, the natural diet of cigar smokers consists of puppies.
Fluffy lovable puppies.
Marin County is where Veganism started, and still thrives.
Consequently, Safeway there sells no puppies.
Nothing but tofu and wheatgerm.
People are starving.

Marin County, like much of Northern California, is so uber-sensitive and green-minded, downright soft on nature, social-consciousness, and sustaining Gaia, that high school kids there no longer dissect frogs or pig-foetuses. They dissect tofu.

It's a miracle of epic proportion that there are cigar smokers there.
But consequently, there are no puppies.
Somebody ate them all.


This blogger, being NOT a cigar smoker, and only a visitor there besides, does not feel their loss and their pain. I do not thrive on puppies -- unclean and gamey meat, dammit -- but feed instead on well-seasoned curries, fresh green chilies, and other ingredients in judicious combination.
Such as I did mere moments ago.
It was an early lunch.

Normally I get up between six and seven, forsake breakfast for coffee, followed by tea, and a few nice healthy bowls of tobacco, smoked in one of several pipes which radiate good taste, gravitas, and an overwhelming love of puppies.

Lunch -- the first meal of the day -- is usually right around tea-time. That being four o'clock in the afternoon. Which is when I regretfully deplete the food-supply, thus taking away protein that could have sustained an adorable little puppy.
Who probably goes to bed weeping, because he is so hungry.
I profoundly feel for the furball, not being a cigar smoker.
Lunch was delayed as long as humanly possible.
I tried, little fellow, I tried.


Lunch today was a plate of bami goreng. That being more or less Dutch soul-food. It was meaningful as well as nutritious, Marin County and the cigar smokers would surely have approved. Fried rice-stick noodles, chicken, chilies, ginger, fish-paste, hot sauce, and egg.
With a bit of cilantro, and a squeeze of lime juice.
No puppy meat; the cigar smokers, you know.
I now feel an urge to smoke a pipe.

It is time to head over the hill for a cup of milk-tea.
Which they don't have in Marin County either.
I blame the Vegans and cigar smokers.
SF is a far better place.

Milk-tea. Rice-stick noodles. And pipe-smokers.
Not a sustainably green Vegan anywhere.
Very few cigar smokers either.
It is wondrous.




IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

Contrary to what you might presently think, I actually love puppies!

Puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies!


Evenso, if Jayzus came back from the dead and demanded a puppy sacrifice, I'd gladly slaughter a container-load of them.




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1 Comments:

  • At 9:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ooooh, puppies!

    Yummy yummy puppies!

     

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