ANYTHING BUT HELLO KITTY

It's about time I admit it: I like small animals. Always have. There's just something about anthropomorphically suggestive creatures with fur and likable traits that appeals immensely to me. Which you may have noticed on this blog before. Raccoons. Weasels. Intelligent rodents. Cats. Dogs. Otters. And my neighbor Totoro.

Also crows and amphibians, even though they lack fur.
They have other lovable characteristics.

As a child I read the stories by Beatrix Potter. They were probably my first foray into literacy, and prepared the way for the Narnia series. Over time other animals wandered into my imagination, and even in adulthood, they haven't left. But they're a bit darker now. Anarchic cigar-chomping raccoons terrorizing the local Chihuahua population, or grumpy badgers wandering around Nob Hill looking for weasel-damsels to court.
I'm sure badgers like weasels; they're small, cute, and wriggly.
As well as incredibly carnivorous.
Fiercely real.


This blogger is not a butterfly, blossom, and Hello Kitty person at all.
Hello Kitty usually induces a gag-reflex. Much like transformers, Barney the Dinosaur, Dora the Explorer, and all the other pablum saccharine garbage crammed down kiddies' throats these days. Anthropomorphic heroes and heroines are NOT cutesy-poo. They are fully developed personalities, with very real failings, bad habits, and logically necessary eccentricities.
Instead of two-dimensional, and safe for your kiddiewinkies.
Or, heaven forfend, decorative underwear motifs.
Real people do NOT wear Hello Kitty.

Although they may wear Snoopy pajamas.


Hello Kitty probably does not even like animal protein. Everything about her suggests that a can of tuna fish would rupture her brain, rather than send her into rapture. Damned little tofu-freak. Just pastries and soy-milk and Vegan shit. She probably lives in San Francisco, and has a tattoo.
Something meaningful and spiritual.


Hello Kitty is NOT suitable as a totem for any rational woman. Pallas Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom, is. And maybe likewise Diane the Huntress. If we're talking imaginary. Among characters that really existed, perhaps Queen Boudica, who led the Celtic tribes of Britain in a savage war against Rome.
It takes confidence to model yourself after such representations.
Whereas Hello Kitty garbage exhibits weakness.
Primarily in the brain-department.
Hello Kitty has no sex.
She is neuter.
A freak.

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