RELAX, IT WAS ONLY A RUSSIAN CHILD

Probably the best piece about Comey and Trump since Thursday was a brief item on Gin and Tacos. And, as you would expect in these somewhat surreal times, it was believable.


"I CANNOT COMMENT ON WHETHER THE PRESIDENT ATE A CHILD" SAYS THE AIDE, HIS TREMBLING VOICE BARELY AUDIBLE OVER THE PRESIDENT NOISILY EATING A CHILD IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO HIM. THE AIDE REPEATS "ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS?" AN AWKWARD NUMBER OF TIMES IN AN ULTIMATELY FUTILE ATTEMPT TO DROWN OUT THE PRESIDENT'S EXAGGERATED AND UNNECESSARY "OM NOM NOM" SOUNDS AND THE CRACKING OF LOAD-BEARING BONES FOLLOWED BY MOANS OF "MMM, CHILD MARROW."
NO ONE DARES ASK WHY THE ACT OF THE 45th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SUCKING THE MARROW OUT OF A CHILD'S FEMUR PRODUCES A LOUD SLIDE WHISTLE SOUND. SENATE REPUBLICANS PRONOUNCE THE HEARING "SUCCESSFUL" AND "ODDLY AROUSING."


There are two questions:

1) Why is Sean Spicer in this scenario holding a press-conference in the presence of a ravenous president?

2) Why aren't the Senate Republicans touching their plates?


I for one find it perfectly reasonable that the President of the United States would act in this manner, and given what our Republicans have been doing since January, so would they.



There's probably ketchup in the room.




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