Monday, February 14, 2011


A few days ago my roommate and I were discussing a fictional event in a movie about Queen Victoria, when the subject of male behaviour versus female behaviour came up.

It became apparent that we are not entirely on the same page.

She is at times a fiercely raging suffragette.

I am incapable of rejecting rigid conditioning.

This is not the first time we've had this conversation - many years ago she huffily informed me that she could open the door very well on her own thank you, and I cheerily responded that anyone that clever should always go through the door first - just to make sure she doesn't stab me in the back, or cripple me with a well-aimed kick.
Now, after you please.

She also has this odd idea that age counts for more than gender, and that somehow relative status plays some role in appropriate behaviour vis-a-vis the other person.

I disagree.

Gentlemen open doors for females and elderly people. Gentlemen offer their seats to ladies on the bus, even if the woman is considerably younger.
While it would indeed be rather ridiculous to offer one's seat to a spunky teenager, it is never the less courteous and proper to open doors for a female person of any age.
Pregnant people should always be offered a seat. So should parents with young children. So should middle-aged women, crumbly old men, and young girls who are carrying stuff.
It's as simple as that.

Status doesn't really enter into it. It does not matter that women are legally equal, or that they can pull their own weight.

Proper conduct is by no means merely maintaining the pretense that they are the weaker sex.

Rather, it's a question of one's own self-respect, and the continued smooth functioning of society.
Some things are done simply because they must be done.
There is no other choice.

And that, my dear, is why we cover our mouths when we yawn, shave every day of the week, and do not scratch our balls in public.

Now, if only I could persuade the young hoodlums on the bus to stop venting their crotches and sit up straight, life would be perfect.

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