A FINE CHUNK OF WOOD

Everybody needs an ATM right in their living room, and why haven't we realized this yet? As a society, we've totally encouraged blowing cash on impulse buys. This came to mind when I was reading several posts by people I know discussing their favourite objects in exquisite detail.

The other thing that comes to mind is that pipe smokers veer toward obsessive and neurotic. Well, other than corncob aficionados, who are probably into cheap American whiskey and canned spinach and have survival bunkers filled with the stuff.

"Mah, what's for dinner?"

"Boiled speench."

"Huzzah!"


"Let us now drink another bottle of Bourbon. Just like every day for the past twenty years. It helps this lovely spunchits go down."


"Should have stocked some hot sauce."


I am a pipesmoker, but I am by no means neurotic OR obsessive. I like all types.
The gentleman in the back giggling should be taken out and shot.
He's a disgusting cynic.

When I came back to the United States years ago, one of the first things I did was buy myself a Peterson System Standard at the tobacco counter in Woolworths on Market Street. I had at one point borrowed my father's pipes while he was on vacation in London -- a two week interlude which both he and I enjoyed very much, for different reasons -- and the PSS struck me as the ultimate in pipish shapes. It just screamed "this is smoking equipment" and "this man has a pipe" to me. For the next several months I filled that thing with Drucquer's Royal Ransom and smoked the bejayzus out of it. Alas, I no longer have that pipe, or the beautifully grained exemplar I had the half year I lived in Piedmont, which I never should have traded away.

But I have several PSS's I've acquired since then. Such as the ones pictured below.

And there are others. In some ways, a pipe is like a brassiere. When you find one that you like, you should make sure you have more than just one of them. They will need to be rotated, and cleaned occasionally. You don't want to over-use any pipe. And it's always good to have spares for that evening with the boys. A little bit of froofroo or extra styling is all right.

Also, don't lend it to someone else.

As you can see on this other site, I have a few more briars. That was kind of inevitable. Not all of them are illustrated there.

I also have several corncob pipes.
But no Bourbon or Spinach.

I think I'll survive.



Doctor George had several Oom Paul pipes. It was the only shape he liked. He said it hung perfectly in the mouth when writing up case reports after performing surgery at the hospital. Neil favours the GBD Rhodesian. Again, multiples. And John in Georgia obsesses over bent Castellos within a narrow range of dimensions. Martin, who lives in Oslo, loves the Peterson shape 69 bent billiard, of which he has an excessive number (15).

Peterson 69, Martin N.'s most recent acquisition

The more I think about it, the more I realize that these men are normal.
There's nothing wrong with owning far too many fine pipes.
A good piece of briar speaks to the soul.
I'm happy they have those.

TOBACCO INDEX


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