IF YOU HAVE A MIND, YOU'RE OUT OF IT!

This blogger does not deal well with Christmas throngs. So I think that we should replace the entire tradition with flame-thrower parties! Instead of shopping frenzies, and brutal fistfights in crowded mall parking garages, a wondrous incendiary celebration! Everyone including the kiddies armed with gasoline gel spray devices and backpack reservoirs of napalm.

Nothing else in the world smells like that!

I guarantee that two or three years after the change, nobody will be Christmas shopping anymore. Or eating too much.
Which might limit their mobility.


The key to enjoying a flamethrower party is to keep moving.


It would herald major improvements in the American diet, as well as make people want to stay trim. So much better for them than being roly-poly slobs waddling around with shopping carts, or using little motorized chairs, or clubbing other people over the heads with tire irons down at the big box for that last latest version of a computer gaming device.


Yeah um no. I myself don't engage in any of that; I haven't been to a mall in years. And I've never given any one a game console or game package or whatever it is. But I have seen normal people on teevee.
No kiddies to bribe, or bankrupt myself over.
No wife to buy a diamond bracelet for.
No husband to gift a new car.
I pity everyone.


During the next two days, there will be scenes of violence and frenzy. Followed by over-eating, bad beverage choices, anguish, domestic discord, somnolescence, recrimination, and the frantic search for cheap chocolates.

New Years? More bad choices.



I'll probably be inside, waiting till it's safe to go out again.




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