Thursday, December 05, 2019

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHILDREN!

As an experiment, I shall have to light up a particular flake tobacco in my pipe, then step away and abstain for a few moments to see if it really does smell in the smoke as it does in the tin. The Politically Correct authorities in San Francisco, Oakland, and Unincorporated Marin seem to believe that this product is magnetic for kiddie-winkies.


FLAVOURED TOBACCO PRODUCTS

No, I have never noticed little children following me around when I smoke a pipe. More often than not they hold their delicate little noses and act like they're being tortured, because their parents have conditioned them to avoid tobacco in all of its forms, it's nasty, old uncle Fester and all the glandered degenerates smoke, nobody nice does, and there are several relatives we no longer associate with or invite for Thanksgiving or Christmas!


Does it really smell like fruit?

The term "deliciously figgy" has been applied to other products in this genre (flakes), not to this one.


ERINMORE FLAKE

When you're in Ireland, dealing with the rich odeurs of mold, mildew, mattress moisture, boiling fat and burning starch, stale spilled stout, unwashed armpits, and the tannic reek of the vast expanses of sodden bog, the smell of pipe tobacco is a welcome relief. Even if it is an aromatic.
To the wise know-it-alls of the anti tobacco movement, such products particularly appeal to, and victimize, children, minorities, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning individuals.

And mentally or emotionally at risk youths.

And hence must be banned.

TEMPTING THE INNOCENT SINCE 1810

Bad Irishman! No beer for you!

I have a year's supply of it, from the day and age when it was still made in Northern Ireland, and didn't have pictures of diseased oesophagi and gangrenous feet plastered all over the tin.

Murray, Sons and Company was founded in 1810. Closed doors in 2005.
Their most famous product was Erinmore Flake.
Now made in Denmark.


In any case, it's been outlawed, and cannot by purchased in any of the places mentioned above. Because it leads little children to drink. And sin. And fast cars. A life of stock options, futures trading, and employment in law offices. Plus fancy cocktails and imported cheese!
Prostitution! Horse races! Mixed dancing!
Or something like that.

[Kindly imagine a picture of Kermit the Frog panicking.]

I've smoked it a few times in the past, without any of those benefits, but it's not a common indulgence for me. It's not a bad tobacco, despite the bizarre topping (pineapple, licorice, hints of mango, and perhaps the merest touch of tonquin), and if smoked slowly renders down to fine white ash which does not ghost the pipe excessively. The echo that remains in the carbon layer inside the bowl disappears within several more smokes of something else, like a robust Balkan blend loaded with Latakia.



I shall keenly look forward to droves of impressionable children following me because I'm smoking Erinmore Flake.



TOBACCO INDEX


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