Wednesday, December 27, 2017


Not entirely certain, but I think my barber is trying to fix me up with his lovely assistant. Now, my barber is Cantonese. His assistant is, as you would naturally assume, also Cantonese. She's a strapping lass of anywhere between eighteen and sixty, meaning that I cannot gauge her age but I'm guessing probably somewhere around thirty or forty.
And she's nice.

Both of us are unmarried, unattached.

But she doesn't speak English, which is an essential requirement.
She wouldn't understand my stupid sense of humour, and, more importantly, get along with my ex.

Without English, either of those are impossible.
I cannot speak enough Cantonese.
My ex does not either.

Cantonese-only types have "expectations" regarding significant-others.
We English-speakers have "ideals", and are less practical. My ex is a permanent member of my circle, and remains very important. Because, as you will easily grasp, what made her "ideal" are qualities she still has today.
And I cannot possibly meet whatever expectations someone who only speaks Cantonese may have.
That's just the way it is. There is no hope of ever explaining that to a person who does not think in English. Meaning, of course, that I doubt that I could communicate that in any other language than English.
Unlikely that I could even do that in Dutch.
More to the point, I shan't try.

It probably would not make any sense to them.

Even though my ex is Cantonese, she does not think in Chinese (Toisanese) but in English. And while I speak Cantonese semi okay, I am hard put to express myself effectively at all times in that tongue.


It is rare that I am 100% fluent in Cantonese.
But utilitarian and functional, often.

Last night I almost told someone 如果你唔走開啦, 我會憤怒用荷蘭話同你講!Which, in this instance, would have merely been an attempt to persuade the English-speaking street-loonie to go elsewhere, by discouraging him with sheer incomprehensibility.
I was not enchanted by his attempts at conversation.
Nor did I have a cigarette to give.

Indien ge niet op-dondert zal ik kwaad tegen je spreken in het Nederlands.
Yugwo nei m jauhoi laa, ngo wui fannou yong holaanwa tong nei gong!
If you don't kindly bugger off, I will angrily talk Dutch at you!

And no one wants that.

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