WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Looking at my blogstats it becomes apparent that readers of this blog are not a homogeneous blob, but can be differentiated into various demographics, not all of whom would be people I could get along with in real life. A blog, naturally, is at best merely a reflection of reality. At worst, it becomes a whelter of whiny voices disagreeing with previous statements, rather like a case of multiple personality disorder.

No multiple personality disorder here, boyos, I am stark raving sane.

How about you?



FISH

A while back I wrote an essay about the differences between herring and mackerel, which always pulls in readers from England. I cannot figure out why that is. Maybe they don't eat fish very often over there.

Cite:
"Like herring, mackerel is fine and fatty, but while the meat of herring is rather buttery, that of mackerel is oily. There is, consequently, a profound difference in mouth-feel, especially when raw. Because of this, and differences in texture and density, the fish can spoil quickly; it must be eaten soon after capture. For sushi, a mild cure to prolong edibility is common - which precisely explains why I am fond of mackerel sushi. To me, taste-wise, it strongly echoes Dutch-style herring, which is also lightly cured. There is even a similarity of appearance, though the flesh looks softer and less glistensome, and has a yellower hue. It is close enough, and hence very nice."
End cite.

I like both. Perhaps, if I were British, I would not like either.

[Fill in your own snarky comments about British cuisine here.]


They are single-subject readers.
Can't call them a demographic.



UNMENTIONABLES

At the meeting of the pipe club recently conversation strayed from flakes, vapers, Balkan blends, and briar objects to the subject of panties, whereupon one respected member confessed that whenever he was onstage he wore women's underwear under his costume, and inevitably good things happened. Potent juju!
The club president then asked me whether I had an extensive collection (which I don't, fyi), and in my response I mentioned that many people find this blog by asking the internet what the difference is between French cut and High cut.

Cite:
"Bikini briefs have a low waistband (in contrast to granny panties), French cuts have high leg openings canted forward, and high cuts have deep leg openings more in-tune with a natural design and a waistband slightly on the high side." 
End cite.

I suspect that the curious pantie visitors are mostly female, and not native speakers of English. My blog stats show an increase in page-views from foreign climes at those times.

Men wearing feminine panties always win at mahjong.
I did not know this when last I played.

There is probably an overlap between pipe-smokers and pantie fans. Given the almost neurotic tendencies of most male pipe-smokers it would be hard to imagine it otherwise. And by and large I enjoy the meetings of the pipe-club, among whom I shall assume a fair amount of undie-aficionados.
Serious pantie-collectors, not so much.
Maybe one or two.


BTW: One should be careful about one says, as it may be quoted.
Two descriptives that got me verbally smacked years ago: "breasts like ripe mangoes", and "vicious flat-chested squeeze-bit". The first described a Punjabi friend's dim-bulb snookie-poo, the second was the wife of an excessively hairy-calved Calabrian gentleman.

Neither man objected.
Their ladies did.
Later.



YOU WANT A GOOD DUCK

A third category are people interested in food, specifically Cantonese cuisine of which roast duck is a representative masterpiece. I am very fond of roast duck, and I commend the person who wishes to know more about that fine product. Others are looking for dried oysters and black moss, rice porridge and its several varieties, dimsum names, various cured meats, or XO sauce, and a Hokkien dish.
Those too are fine quests.



SPAM SPAM SPAM

The most baffling category is represented by spam-bots, who for several months now have been attempting to seed a post about Jewish head-coverings with all manner of commercial messages. Most of their links and suggestions are quite irrelevant to yarmulkes. It would be hard to explain to them how unsuitable their attempted comments are -- they are programs on computers, and therefore have a hard time with the real word -- and there is no incentive to even try. I consign all their efforts to the dustbin.
Cruel and heartless of me, I know.
So flesh-person-centric.



ASPERGER

Some other visitors almost certainly have Asperger Syndrome, which is a spectrum of mental quirks that make social interaction problematic.
It is characterised by mild-to-major obsessiveness and repetitive conversational gambits, coupled with sometimes severely defficient interpersonal skills.

Per Wikipedia:
"The syndrome is named after the Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger who, in 1944, studied and described children in his practice who lacked nonverbal communication skills, demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy."
End cite.

Not all people with Asperger are clumsy, but almost all of them show the tendency to repeat the same data in slightly different ways, both to clarify it to themselves (it didn't sound right, let me say it again) and to make sure their listener understands. This can get old fast, as by the fifth time they say exactly the same thing you've already understood it.

Wikipedia again:
"As a pervasive developmental disorder, Asperger syndrome is distinguished by a pattern of symptoms rather than a single symptom. It is characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction, by stereotyped and restricted patterns of behavior, activities and interests, and by no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language. Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted prosody, and physical clumsiness are typical of the condition ... "
End cite

That tendency to repeat, rephrase, reshape, and reitterate statements, and share the same information over and over is a major tip-off.
A few of the people I know do that, at times to excess, so that what should have been a simple formulaic answer to the greeting "how are you doing" becomes an exercise in super-human patience, as they proceed to describe in great detail an incident which somehow significantly affected how they are doing. Others will answer all questions in triplicate, quadruplicate, or further multiplicates, highlighting insignificant minutiae several times in scarcely different phrases.
But I already said that.


It will not have escaped the reader that some comments here are entirely off-topic, or conversational sidetracks, albeit often entertaining. Likewise, certain behaviours may get described (for instance, drinking milk-tea and having a flaky snack in Chinatown before enjoying a pipe filled with good tobacco) till you are sick of hearing about it.

Also from Wikipedia:
"People with Asperger syndrome display behavior, interests, and activities that are restricted and repetitive and are sometimes abnormally intense or focused. They may stick to inflexible routines, move in stereotyped and repetitive ways, or preoccupy themselves with parts of objects.
Pursuit of specific and narrow areas of interest is one of the most striking possible features of AS.
Individuals with AS may collect volumes of detailed information on a relatively narrow topic ... "
End cite.

Most people are somewhere on the spectrum.
Being there is actually normal.
So is deviance.



ET AUTRES

Other postings here have been rants, bad temper, cute little stories, cat pictures, and caffeine-induced rambling. Plus some discussion of things I've done, and stuff I've been involved in. Being a man, naturally some of the essays may have referenced sex (plus breasts, panties, shiny hair, brassieres, nudity, steam-heat, mangoes, and a wealth of other words opportunistically chosen to increase my ranking in google searches), though I pride myself that nothing here could be construed erotically.

Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails! Nudity and cocktails!

Just hints at typical male heterosexual conceptiva, without any pictures or video clips that would titillate. Although I did once tell my readers that I am a tall and incredibly stunning black woman with lovely gazongas. Tribal jewelry suits me very well, and I wear bold colours with grace and ease. Deeply plunging v-necks show off my lovely attributes nicely.



BUT WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING FOR?

A blog is not meant to be a mundane accounting of one's life, nor a true portrait of the person. Not unless one entitles it "I AM BOB, MY LIFE IS BORING". Which would be rather pointless, Bob, as only your mother would read it.

The same goes for all those sites where one person obsessively recounts shopping for stylish clothing and shoes, and tells us in great detail about the latest dress she bought, scarf she knitted, or modelling photo-shoot in the park with her bestie. Each day more of the same.

There are many journals like that.

*      *      *      *      *
And then there's the paranoid blogs filled with strange statements and EVERY other WORD Capitalised or MISSPELlT, space ALIANS and barrack hussoin ABOAMA, alternating typefaces or underlines everywhere and assertions that boggle the mind
Chemtrails, vaccinations, fluoride, and Vicks Vaporub.
Liberals, illuminati, and lizards.
*      *      *      *      *

Instead, web-logs like this one express a personal mental world, and occasionally illuminate subjects which the author finds interesting. Often there is more than one theme that gets repeated, and sometimes it must seem that there are several speakers. There will be contradictions.
At random a bit of complete non-factuality.

Meta-realism.

Over time the personality of the pipe-smoking badger writing the blog may shine through, but not necessarily in a completely accurate way. Badgers are solitary creatures, though they do surface occasionally
for a spot of milk-tea and a cookie.

I'm actually quite lovable, and fond of head-scritchies.
No tummy rubs unless you know me.
I am not a cat.


I like herring and baked goods.

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