PERFECT ACCESSORY

After having seen any number of horrid tattoos, which the wearers will probably regret once they're older and realize that no one wants to rent to them and any divorces have been ruled in their disfavour because they look like sex-gargoyles, as well as the male short-shorts and female pudgy belly bare shirts, I can only consider that society's style choices will swing back to something much more severe and almost puritanical looking. Draw everyone's attention away from their scars and the flesh-coloured skin goop covering the evidence of their youthful stupidity and meaningfulness.

By the way: I am indebted to Steve Dallas' mom for the term "sex-gargoyle". As in "come over here and kiss your son the sex-gargoyle hello". Just imagine hairy thighs and shiny metal studs. Plus the inevitable dark sunglasses hiding that he was chronically hung-over under a veneer of Rayban coolness. How that penguin put up with him I don't know.

In any case, accessories. Specifically ones that say that the possessor is NOT a slave to fashion, but a totally unique individual, with a dress sense entirely their own, expressing their sober severity and nuanced spiritual nature. But not in a way that gets them fired or kicked out of public places.

Stylish. Hip. Geschmakvol. Yet serious.

The fez.

When he's wearing that, you can't even see his 'Billy And The Boingers' tattoo, can you? You can hire him. He's a great barista and really has a way with the yuppie sludge that oozes in every morning ready to be fuelled up for their meaningless job slaving for Intra AI Holdings LLC. With a shot of Red Bull syrup and a dusting of cinnamon. Low fat.


Guten Tag, Herr Drudge, möchten sie heute ihr übliches hyperkoffeinhaltiges getränk?


The place reeks of cheap Eastern European cigarettes stylishly smoked with ivory cigarette holders. A girl looking very punk Parisian Apache plonks away at a period portable typewriter. She is part of the Beatnik Poetry Revival Movement; intensely political and deliberately last century. Taking America back to a pre-Nixon gestalt. When we still had values as a society.


No studs. No piercings. No visible tattoos anymore.
Just a respectful in-your-face accoutrement.
Timeless and classic. The fez.


You should know that I have several ivory cigarette holders and look precisely like the younger Evelyn Waugh. Ein ernster mann. I am so ready for a new world order.



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