Tuesday, December 08, 2015

PLANNING MY DEPRAVITY

Many years ago, when I was working for a tobacconist on Piedmont Avenue, a curvy blonde teenage sexpot sweetly asked me to get her some clove cigarettes, because she was not yet old enough to buy them herself. When I demurred, she pouted fiercely, and snarled.
I am glad I refused; teenagers who smoke clove cigarettes are on a slippery slope, and undoubtedly she'd be a batshit crazy old slag by now, angry, with four kids by five different men, and a drug problem to boot.
That's what clove cigarettes do to fragile little minds.

Intelligent women should smoke pipes in any case.
It shows a keenness of intellect.
And good taste.


Today I will keep an eye peeled for women who are between late teens and mid thirties, who look like a pipe full of a fine Virginia blend would be just what the doctor ordered.

It's a day off, and consequently life is to be enjoyed.

Four out of five Englishmen recommend flake.

The fifth one is probably dead.

Or a philosopher.


"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly."

[-----Albert Einstein (coincidentally also a pipesmoker).]


Bertrand Russel (a famous British philosopher, deceased) once credited pipe-smoking with saving his life. His favourite tobacco was Fribourg & Treyer's 'Golden Mixture', which is described as a ribbony blend of blonde Virginia. And though I've never tried it, I like it already.
Because of the famous association.

What I'll carry with me as I wander around the downtown will be a blend of my own devising, about fifty percent rubbed flake with some other tobaccos added for complexity. Mostly Virginias. Very nice.
It goes very well with strong tea, and has a lovely reek.
I'll have an extra pipe in my pocket.


You know, there's a lovely place for milk-tea, with excellent pastries, at the edge of Chinatown. Even if it doesn't rain, it will be good to shelter from the elements there at the end of a longish walk.
Late afternoon, right around four.




TOBACCO INDEX


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12 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

Need some help with this video - what's going on here?

Anonimeux said...

Do you celebrate Hanikkah? Do you smoke anything special on it?

The back of the hill said...

No, I don't, and no, nothing special.

The back of the hill said...

E-kvetcher,


As near as I can figure out, it's a voice-over of some woman chewing him out for getting some other woman pregnant, or messing around with a second woman.
Mention is made of the recent 'second child' policy.

His limp patience while she bellyaches is typical of Northerners, hence the humour in the matching of video and voice.

Anonimeux said...

Do you celebrate any holiday?

The back of the hill said...

Very few of them. Most holidays are family events.
I am an early middle-aged single man, watching my springy and athletic youthfulness (well, what there was of that) fading away.

No wife, no kids, no nasty little nephews and nieces, and no crazy mistress as an escape hatch.

Not, strictly speaking, a holiday type in consequence.

Anonimeux said...

You seem to celebrate Thanksgiving with about ten bitchy blogposts each year.

e-kvetcher said...

Hey, in case you need to brush up on your math, I found this!

The back of the hill said...

Anonimeux,

Yes, that sounds about right. More or less. Some years I'm more unhappy with being alone than others.

The back of the hill said...

e-kvetcher,

THAT is fabulous!

Cocaine Bob said...

If she had asked you to buy her a pipe or pipe tobacco, would you have agreed to do it?

The back of the hill said...

Yep.
I would have thought that it showed remarkable maturity and wisdom.

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