The apartment mate was in song when I arrived home. Something horrible from a musical. But, seeing as I had already heard white marketing types celebrate the season with karaoke, I was desensitized. Nineteen fifties musicals are bad; nineteen eighties rock and or roll is far, far worse.
If ever I fall in love again, it will likely be with someone who doesn't sing.
Instead, she'll offer me crumbly lemon cookies. Or something like that.
While we shelter in the darkened apartment from the rain.
THE IMAGINED TENSE
See, her auntie is off visiting that handsome sailor in Macau or Long Beach, she's been tasked with feeding the cat or watering the potted plants, and given how wet we were, she had no choice but to invite me in for a hot beverage. Saying goodbye with a kiss at the door just didn't seem right.
Auntie's apartment is kind of old-fashioned. That couch must date from the fifties. It's in remarkably good shape. The hallway mirror cabinet is probably pre-war. They made things better in those days.
The kitchen is a work of art. Glass-paned wall-cabinets, a four-burner older than either of us, and a smooth counter-top. Back steps and utility balconies that look out over rain-darkened gardens and an airwell open to the south-west, old paint, and that area where the cats fight.
And then, to my horror, she'll start humming some rock and roll.
Not The Eagles, man, I hate The Eagles!
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Often while at work I get to hear the sour old dingbats in the backroom spouting Republican drivel and venom. Which does not leave me positi...
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If ever I fall in love again, it will likely be with someone who doesn't sing.
Ah, so that means the 20-year-old Cantonese girl, not Liza.
Dear At The Back of The Hill,
I realize you were entirely crushed by the findings that someone already had created lobster cat food before you. We too, were disappointed. I was so looking forward to working with a genius.
However, if you would listen patiently and hear us out this time, I think there might still be an opportunity for you to make a handsome profit.
Recent perusal of your blog indicated an obsession with balut. And also several stories about the fragrant durian. Current market research indicates the surprising untapped potential for durian cat food. And similarly my boss, Francis, believes that balut might be right up a growing cat's alley. It combines duck and calcium. And it's organic!
If you would agree to become our resident culinary expert for our Tastes of the Southeast Kibble, and perhaps write one or two blog posts on the subject, I am sure we could swing some of these riches your way. This is a genuine gold mine of a business opportunity that should not be missed.
Yours,
Norman Jameson
Senior Blog Correspondent
catHolic
There's tempted I am.
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