Much to the distress of cat-lovers everywhere, there is no such thing as kitty kibble with real lobster. Pure honest to goodness gmo-free no-gluten ORGANIC lobster. Feline American Princesses NEED lobster chunks in cream.
This thought came to me while I was preparing fermented black bean sauce meat-balls with mustard stalks yesterday. There wasn't an actual demand from any of the stuffed animals for wholesome organic lobster (non-vegan) at that moment, but I felt an aura of need.
This is a business opportunity for the astute entrepreneur. America's rich-bitches will leap at the opportunity of feeding their beloved pets the purest poached Maine lobster, for a truly happy pussy and glossy fur.
Why isn't there a gourmet aisle in the petfood section?
The spoiled wealthy must spoil their cats.
Not just the icky chihuahuas.
Another thought that came to me while cooking was that if either Donald Trump or Ted Cruz becomes president of the United States, we'll have to burn this mother down. We will have failed as a nation.
Our Christian xenophobes won't see it that way.
They're one step removed from the Klan.
A fervidly Christian organization.
Represented in Congress.
Most of the truly weird things in this blog are brought to you by caffeine.
I fixed myself a strong cup of coffee upon returning home last night, I'm already well into my second cup this morning.
Throughout the day I swill tea.
The industrial age could not have happened without caffeine.
Nor the entire twentieth century.
Keep the soy-hazelnut latte freaks away from me.
I spend way too much time in Marin.
People are special there.
Entitled.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
6 comments:
"The industrial age could not have happened without caffeine. Nor the entire twentieth century."
What about TOBACCO? And incidentally, what's the longest that you have ever gone without a smoke?
Tobacco is not even relevant, although without tobacco and cotton cultivation the expanse westward in North America would not have happened as fast.
There have been periods of several days when I haven't indulged in tobacco. Longest period was about three months.
Some days I smoke no more than one pipe and two or three cigarillos.
It's variable.
"Longest period was about three months."
Oh wow, three MONTHS? What's the story? I'd like to hear that one! Maybe a post, so that all readers can see it!!!
Did you say "civiLIZAtion"?
I was just about to tell my boss Francis about your awesome product idea, and of course there would be a large finder's fee for you. I was REALLY excited, because I was just telling Francis about how you gave us a shoutout. I didn't even think anyone remembered that line of product. That was when we were trying to expand our repertoire to other lines of pets.
Alas, someone seems to have stolen our thunder. However, we still would appreciate your input on our line of Cigarillo products. "A Cuban Cat is a Classy Cat"
Norman Jameson
Senior Blog Correspondent
catHolic
Okay. Dat be weird.
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