SURPRISE ME

During the working day I often answer questions. Unfortunately, only a minority of the people who ask these questions are inquiring about the meaning of life. Equally unfortunately, some of them clearly need psychological counseling. Often the questions are about cigars.

Stick this end in your mouth.

Set fire to that end.

Now suck.

A few of them express curiosity about pipes instead. What makes one pipe better than another, or how does one use this peculiar object?
This end goes in your mouth, AFTER you've put tobacco in that end. For the rest, please follow the instructions for cigars.

As with all consumption, do not waste your time on garbage. If you are going to indulge, do so boldly and well. Go for the glittery ball at the end of the rainbow, and don't accept any wooden nickels.

Today is the beginning of my weekend.
I want more evolved questions.



What kind of forest creature am I, what is that lovely smell, why am I sitting by myself on a bench, are there more places to sit, and what beverage comes to mind at most hours of the day?

Can I actually locate my copy of A La Recherche du Temps Perdu?

[Actually, I can, but not today. My apartment mate is watching murder documentaries on teevee all day long, and the copy is in the cabinet underneath the boob tube, behind the ceramics.]

Would I rather be inside fondling my pipe or a warm cup?

What else are agile and sensitive fingers good for?

Sunlight or semi-closed window blinds?



I'm in the mood to experiment today. Noodles, dumplings, and other slithery things. Voyages of discovery, and a fresh pair of eyes.

Sunlight, coffee, and cats.




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