GLUTEN-FREE CHINESE FOOD

A friend, who has the peculiar conviction that I like cooking queer shiznit, sent me a recipe for "gluten free wontons", with the remark that it looked good enough that even I would consider it a masterpiece.

I sent him back a note telling him to never do that again. Never EVER do that again. If you value your ability to breath through a nose, do NOT ever do that again. Don't even think of doing that.
I know where your relatives live.
And I'll tell on you.

Depraved person!


Sorry for genuine coeliacals, but gluten-free Chinese food is the kind of garbage only white people eat. Please understand that the stuff which ignorant dingbats like David Perlmutter, Mark Sisson, and that rancid heap of poo Ms. Vani Hari might cook, in a mis-guided attempt to Chinkify culinary garbage, should NEVER be called 'Chinese food'.

That's a damned good way to offend every Chinese person alive.

As well as anyone who appreciates good cooking.

And legitimate nutritionists.


Now hear this: if you claim gluten intolerance, or peculiar food allergies, or special dietary needs, or are a vegan, DO NOT COOK CHINESE.
Heck, don't cook anything, and step away from the kitchen implements.
Slowly. The rest of us startle easily, and might start shooting.

Consider rolling up into a ball until you die of bowel blockage instead.
Or dye your hair indigo, and go meditate in an ashram in Somalia.
Move to Sweden, and invent a vegan version of surströmming.
Taunt the Russian military, or take up basket weaving.


These are all things I wish David Perlmutter, Mark Sisson, and that rancid heap of poo Ms. Vani Hari would do too.

Such evil people have NO business speaking about food.
It is opportunistic, and depraved.
Snake oil.


Won ton contains gluten. Period.


Bitches.




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