AND, SPEAKING OF AMPHIBIANS...

My ex is in the other room sleeping with a frog. The frog in question is minty green, and looks squeezable. He is a recent arrival in this household, and has as yet not been insulted by any of the other stuffed creatures, such as the one-legged monkey, the blue-faced sheep, or the little black cat, who believes herself to be worthy of a great deal more appreciation than any of the other silly animals are giving her.

My ex went to bed early today. She was already there when I came in just before eight o'clock. Consequently it has been a very quiet evening.
Yes, she has her own room. She did even before we broke up.
That is one of the reasons why we still live together.
And we still like each other as co-conspirators.
As I do not have a love interest, it works.

Because she and I have entirely different schedules, it will probably also work if there is a new love interest. But it could not work if I had short-term affairs.


One of my frequent statements is that "life is too short to drink Starbucks", by which I mean that if you cannot have exactly what you want, you should not settle for poor substitutes.
Drink Peets coffee if you need a big-ass hot drink.
Or make your own, exactly as you want it.
Don't just settle for Starbucks.
It's miserable muck.


It's also a question of priorities and what's within reach.


I haven't had Coors, Budweiser, Michelob, or Miller since 1985.

Nor have I drunk a Starbucks beverage since that time either.
No McDonalds in several years, not a single bite of fast-food burgers in over ten years, no sex in over five, no Bourbon in three, pizza in several weeks, a burrito in the past fortnight, hot sauce in twenty four hours, cookies in twenty .....

No durian since 1997.

Haven't had hot sauce since this morning, enjoyed a pipe since early evening, or drunk coffee in an hour and a half.


Obviously, some of those things are not on my list of 'must-haves', but instead occupy a place of honour on a rather long list of 'must-have-nots'. Coors and Budweiser, McDonalds, and Starbucks, for instance. Breakfast cereal is also on that list; haven't touched it in two decades.
Hamburgers have not been part of the programme since 2004 when the American beef industry was caught lying about certain practices.
Bourbon just doesn't suit me.

Everything else is an almost essential part of life.


The concept of dating a woman is often in the forefront of my consciousness, but unfortunately most women in San Francisco are rather like breakfast cereal, being bland except for soggy crunchy bits, and verging on indigestible.

[My ex eats breakfast cereal, and there are always BIG boxes, four or five different types, on top of the refrigerator. Which is inexplicable. Breakfast cereal is kinda nasty. But I have never held it against her. Tastes differ. Which they should. People are not all alike, our divergences make things interesting.]

I am looking for a woman who is more like a slice of pizza late at night; warm, charming, and just oozing goodness.


Necessary correction: When I said that I had not had hotsauce in 24 hours, it was ten minutes ago. I have since rectified that with a single-serving microwavable quiche. I also dabbed a bit of pickle relish on it.
Sometimes all a man needs is pickle relish.
And hot sauce.


I am manfully avoiding the bag of cookies that sits temptingly on the table between her computer and mine. Reason being that I know she'll want to finish them tomorrow morning when she gets up. She'll see the bag tempting her, and take one. Then another. Then the remaining two.
I'm not working tomorrow, so she deserves them.

Always be considerate of people who hug frogs.
Such individuals deserve our kindness.
A good woman needs cookies.
And stuffed creatures.




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