ENDORSING THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE SINCE 2005

This blog began nearly ten years ago. And for that entire decade, its author has encouraged vulnerable adults to man-up and admit their own homosexuality, blasphemous tendencies, and carnivorous natures.

Go on, admit it; you like bacon.
Rainbow coloured bacon.

You're not too young for bacon. All teenagers and twenty-somethings enjoy bacon. Your idiot parents don't know what they're talking about.
Go on, have a bite. Plus some steak. Or a nice juicy burger.
With bacon, cheese, and mushrooms.
On a non-gluten-free bun.

You are deeply in love with animal protein. Which causes you to forsake the altar your family members still loyally and stupidly attend, religiously.
You do not wish to be seen in their Christian company anymore.
Nor eat the Vegan manna they fundamentally praise.
They have become sawdust in your mouth.
And deservedly so.

Both meat and homosexuality are equal opportunity.



I should mention that while I do engage in carnivorous behaviours, nearly every damned opportunity I get, homosexuality is NOT one of my practices.
I sincerely encourage it, darlings, but I abstain myself.

As a man, I much prefer the female of the species.
Some of whom are cute and huggable.


That being said, almost all the crazy-ass vegetarians and gluten-phobics that have crossed my path are women.


Some women are a little, um, irritating.

Because this is California, a huge number of people -- many of them of the feminine bent -- are obsessed with bowel blockage, meaningfulness, karmas and chakras, and projecting an air of precious spirituality.
The Bay Area is, unfortunately, ground zero for that.

Men will usually hide these peculiarities. Women, however, have no shame, and will impose their vegetarian life-style agenda on all and sundry. Because being 'special' is of all encompassing importance.

Californians tolerate a wide spectrum of crazy.

I am not that flexible.



One of the reasons I have taken to eating in Chinatown is because most of the pretentious food hangup hoohah is not something Chinese eateries have much patience for, nor a market-segment to whom they cater.
Chinatown is about meat. And seafood. And gluten.

Homosexuality, not so much.

But I suspect that being peculiar about food, and refusing to touch things which are good to eat, would be far more disturbing to the average Cantonese person than privately engaging in sticky business with a person of the same gender. Or any gender.

Dietary eccentricity is, largely, a life style choice.
And seen as profoundly anti-social.
A deliberate affront.



The Cantonese will tolerate our perversions, especially if we're paying real money to eat flavourless "health food good-karma" garbage, but they'll never-the-less marvel at our stupidity and lack of sense.

Gluten-intolerant veganism is strictly for the birds.
Crazy effing white people.



好食嘢 GOOD EAT THINGS

Follows a list of scrumptious nibbles which include either substances of animal origin, or gluten, or both.
Usually both.

Spring rolls (春捲). Wonton noodle (雲吞麺). Salted snow cabbage and pork shreds in broth with noodles (雪菜肉絲湯米粉). Charsiu buns (叉燒包). Sweet and sour spare ribs (糖醋排骨). Roast duck (燒鴨). White-cooked pork with sour vegetable (酸菜白肉). Steamed fish (蒸魚). Lamb with tofu sticks (腐竹羊肉). Lean pork and preserved egg congee (皮蛋瘦肉粥). Fatty pork meatballs and snow cabbage soup noodle (雪菜豬肉圓河粉). Grilled pork rice noodle soup (燒猪肉河粉湯). Steamed custard bun (奶皇飽). Pork kidney with ginger and scallion (姜葱腰花). Gailan with fish collops (蘭芯斑球). Steamed savoury egg custard (蒸水蛋). Fried dough stick (油條). Stir-fried pork shreds and snow fungus (炒肉絲銀耳). Braised 'lion's head' meatballs (紅燒獅子頭). Glutinous rice chicken steamed in a lotus leaf bundle (糯米雞). Shrimp croquettes (蝦餅). Black bean sauce spare ribs (豆豉排骨). Garlic chives dumplings (韭菜豬肉水餃). Fermented tofu pig trotters (南乳豬手). Curry beef (咖喱牛腩). Shrimp-filled noodle sheet (鮮蝦腸粉). Sea cucumber and pig knuckles (海參燜豬手). Deep-fried glutinous rice puffs (煎堆). Steamed fatty pork chunks (蒸五花腩). Pork floss bun (肉鬆飽). Meat and cabbage bun (菜肉飽). Fish balls on a stick (串魚蛋). Hainan chicken rice (海南雞飯). Shrimp sauce Chinese broccoli (蝦醬芥蘭). Shrimp mash filled bellpeppers (蝦膠釀青椒). Steamed chicken (蒸滑雞). Stewed trotter with peanuts (花生炆豬手). Pickled vegetable fatty pork chunks (梅菜扣肉). Hot and sour chicken (酸辣鷄球). Mixed organ meat rice porridge (及第粥). Lean pork and dried oyster congee (蠔豉瘦肉粥). Fish with crisp bokchoi (菜遠蘢利魚). Beef soup with noodles (牛腩湯麵). Egg tarts (蛋撻). Red bean pastries (豆沙餠). Fish with bittermelon (豆豉凉瓜魚片 OR 涼瓜斑球). Boiled dumplings (水餃). Porkchop with tomato sauce (蕃茄豬扒). Chicken stirfried with seasonal vegetables (炒時菜雞片). Ginger & scallion chicken chunks (薑蔥炆雞丁). Salt fish steamed pork patty (咸魚蒸肉餅). Chicken buns (雞包). Pork siu mai (豬肉燒賣). Typhoon shelter crab (避風塘炒蟹). Deep fried taro puff (芋角). Congee with dried scallops (干貝粥).


Doesn't all of that sound quite wonderful? See, if you're food-stupid, you can't have any. Nor any of the delicious bacon. Mmm, bacon.

Normal homosexuals, however, can; and do.

So do many other normal people.

And remarkable women.




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