At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Monday, May 18, 2015

WHY THE UNITED STATES IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD

There are precisely three reasons why America is the greatest country in the world. Only three, and they aren't what you would expect.


THREE REASONS:

We're nearly an entire continent, sort of. Almost.

We've got the Grand Canyon.

And we're China's biggest customer.


It certainly isn't education, health, housing, medical care, nutrition, low infant mortality, freedom, equal justice, or public good. Nor cuisine and culture. No, ideals and high morals aren't up there either, and we haven't been a shining beacon in years. Disneyworld and fastfood don't rank.

Nor is Texas a reason. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Realistic people know that we have sunk.

The rest of you are crazy.

And stupid.



Fortunately some of us live in San Francisco, where most of the rest of you aren't. Yes, you come and visit occasionally -- we know it's you, because of lumbering size -- but we take some comfort in a more varied and interesting cultural spectrum, a far better selection of things to eat, more bookstores per capita than many other places, and the fact that we are the very end of the known universe, far away Texas and Baltimore.

It ain't much, but it's something.



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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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1 Comments:

  • At 9:29 AM, Anonymous e-kvetcher said…

    San Francisco, Ultima Thule

     

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